Shamone Mudda Fukkas Innit

Easy now> Cheers for all da comments on me last fossilized post folks. I is been well off da rails lately innit. Aint played poker for 2 weeks exactly. Dont really know what has been wrong with me head but I just aint been up for playing. Maybe it as something to do with da fact dat I is been on a massive Srumpy bender?

Seriously I have been well too wasted to mention. I aint even been online to read me emails or even checkout how me bloggin bredrins are doin. Hope all is well folks and you has been rincing dose bitches. Will be catching up on all ur poker expiditions over the next couple days. (wonder how Bluescouse is doing? And Kenn, Yorkshire Pud, Amatay, Cadmunkey, Burnleymik, and all da rest of u cats)

There is a small amount of truth in what Mr.Anonymous said on my last post. I had been seriously hitting the Cyder hard for over a week (at least 10 litrea a day dawn til dawn)[spelling mistake but sound a bit like Amatay innit. Shamone] Luckilly I realized dat on this crazy drunken mission of mine (to drink da local dry) I had to stay away from all things poker related including my blog, otherwise I would lose my whole roll. So on this particular day I was raeching the 15 litre mark (sick as fuck I know I need help) and I managed to get a free trial on a webcam site. A sexy one too. Full of crazy people in chat rooms all with webcams and microphones talking to each other. I've never seen anything like this in my life seriously. Man it was sick. I was reading the friendly banter that was popping up on screen and decided to click on a few names to see who was talking. OOOPS!!!! Made the mistake of clicking on dis geezer who had his cam on but u couldnt see his face. Nooooooooooooo! All u could see was him wanking his fucking cock off! So I quickly clicked on a girl who (he was probably looking at) was chatting, and she was doing all kinds of crazy shit with a massive blue dildo (I hope none of my girl friends are reading this. If you are. Remember I had drunk nearly 15 litres of 7.4% Scrumpy and please forgive me. lol)

Anyway, I couldnt find the right button to get off the girl with the big blue dildo. Then some girl asked me to put my cam and mic up. I said ok I will if u want to see my big one. She said yes please. I said ok, cammed up and showed her my big 5 litre bottle of Scrumpy and said Ave Some Of Dat!!! She was beautiful and laughed into my headfones. I could see her and hear her and she could me, so we didnt need to type anymore. Its like a free videofone. Amazing!
So while all these very open minded people are wanking and frigging themselves off, I sitting here just chatting to this georgeous American gal, and playing her some off my drum&base. Its a bit like dat dude off of Human Traffic except I never run up a £150 fone bill. Ended up talking to her for like 3 or 4 hours about life and eternity. By 3am she had managed to persuade me to give up drinking! lmfao
Next day I gave up drink cold turkey style and fuck me did I pay for it. My doctor has actually advised me not to do this but I did it anyway. DT's kicked in big time. Wont go into the details, but I could even drink water without throwing up for 24hours. Gettin wiv da sickness bigtime.
Luckilly after 3 days off da booze I was well enough to drive a truck to help me folks move house (all thanx to da girl on da net. Destiny eh?) Been helping dem move all week. Man have dey got a lot of stuff.

Anyway I is well up for some poker now and da booze is well back on, but on me normal levels. I was goin crazy for a while. Even missed last weeks live game coz I was too hammered to get into the pub. Should be on for tomoz tho I'll let u all know.
Time for some drunken internet table mashing.....

Put It In Cyder!!!!