Drunken Monk Poker

NOW I AM THE MASTER

2007-07-24T06:25:00.000Z

Woh, its been a long time since I hit blog land. I've been away learning the true power of the Dark side. Aint even booted up me computer for weeks. Hope all me bredrins has been rincin those bitches. Will try catch up wiv u allz over the next few days. Thanks for all the comments on me last post. And cheers for the message Pud, if you still readin. I'll give you a call soon mate.

Here's what happened: Managed to get my final roll up to $80 on Crypto and BlueSq. Got pissed up one night and a mate came round and asked me if he could play on my account if he gave me the cash. Knowing full well that I cant deposit or withdraw I drunkenly agreed. Big mistake. The dude rinced out both my accounts in about 30 minutes and gave me the cash. Woke up in the morning and realized I cant play online poker anymore. This pissed me off so much I couldnt even bring myself to log on to the net. I've just spent the last two hours reading all my email.

Anyway I'm not beaten that easy. Made the final table again in the local pub tourney and have started hosting my own home games. Had four people round last week for a late night sesh. It was well little league tho. I realized I had busted all me cash on the piss the night before. When everyone came round I only had 80p to my name, so I told them tonight is an 80p rebuy. LOL Everyone fort it was a good idea, 80p buys 5000 chips, standard structure. Winner takes all. Nuff rebuys went in as well. Lost count how many times my mate Phill bought in. He was wasted and kept using his favourite fraze "I fink ur bluffin, I'm all in". Yeah ok, nice read mate, but your not knocking me off that pot when I've got everyone covered 3 times over. And, oh yeah, I was bluffing, but my J high still beats your 9 high 3 kicker. lmfao.

It was good fun and I won. Cant remeber how much exactly but it was a tidy sum for an 80p stake.

Goin bankrupt tomoro so should hopefully be back online poking soon.

Take it easy folks, GL, and

Put It In Cyder!!!! (offee opens in 7 minutes YES YES!)

Still here just

2007-07-03T20:58:00.000Z

Not much to say except (Ive got a rizzla stuck too my foot and...) checkout me bredrins blog http://rompersblog.blogspot.com/ Dis geeza is well wkd at poker and is my poker Selassie! His blog aint as good lookin as me or mine but checkout what he writes. This dude fucking KNOWS how to plat poker! Emperor Selassie! Check it out. Ruspec

And Put It In Cyder!!!!

Possibly me last post for a bit!

2007-07-02T06:27:00.000Z

Tune of the Month: Loveyoulongtime by the almighty Ely Muff

Dis could well be me last post for a week or 3 me bloggin bredrins. Me internet myt be getting cut off today coz the cunts wont do a quarterly bill. I told em I aint got a bank acc. no more and the stupid bitch said its ok coz I can pay by cheque. Sillly girl. Maybe they accept postal orders but I doubt it. If sky can do me a quarterly bill I'm goin wiv dem, if not I gotta open a temporary bank acc just to get online. Still not properly bankrupt yet.

One thing you'll know if you've ever had trouble with the banks is dat they leave you 10 to 15 automated messages everyday. And I just received a very disturbing automated text/voicemail in the form of a female robot voice. It said something along the lines of "Hello cunt! This is Yorkshire Pudding. I am totally off my tits!" LMFAO PUD!!!

I was totally off my bonce on Friday as well. Blew shed loads of cash and didnt actually go anywhere. lol. Get ur arse down to Cornwall Pud. We'll go on tour and mashup de place AIII.

Unfortunately 2 weeks in a row I was too hammered (without shades) to get into my local for a live game. Gutted about that one coz it was the last week ever that you can smoke a ciggy at the table. :-(

Will have to break out the nicotine patches for next week. Yeah, like fuck! I'll be waiting outside for the cunts and get em all round my place for a proppa game.

Fuck pubs dat dont let you smoke. I'll never set foot in one again!!! Fucking Slags!

Not much poker at all lately. Been getting too shit faced. Did play a bit on the fishee 15c/25c on Crypto. Made $20 then lost $40 an hour later when the Scrumpy kicked in. Sod it. Cant draw it out anyway. Gonna be doin a lot more live games now with me new found poker buds. Might have to update this blog from the library tho. We'll see.

Take it easy me bredrins and good luck on the tables.

Put It In Cyder! AIIIII

Shamone Mudda Fukkas Innit

2007-06-28T23:39:00.000Z

Easy now> Cheers for all da comments on me last fossilized post folks. I is been well off da rails lately innit. Aint played poker for 2 weeks exactly. Dont really know what has been wrong with me head but I just aint been up for playing. Maybe it as something to do with da fact dat I is been on a massive Srumpy bender?

Seriously I have been well too wasted to mention. I aint even been online to read me emails or even checkout how me bloggin bredrins are doin. Hope all is well folks and you has been rincing dose bitches. Will be catching up on all ur poker expiditions over the next couple days. (wonder how Bluescouse is doing? And Kenn, Yorkshire Pud, Amatay, Cadmunkey, Burnleymik, and all da rest of u cats)

There is a small amount of truth in what Mr.Anonymous said on my last post. I had been seriously hitting the Cyder hard for over a week (at least 10 litrea a day dawn til dawn)[spelling mistake but sound a bit like Amatay innit. Shamone] Luckilly I realized dat on this crazy drunken mission of mine (to drink da local dry) I had to stay away from all things poker related including my blog, otherwise I would lose my whole roll. So on this particular day I was raeching the 15 litre mark (sick as fuck I know I need help) and I managed to get a free trial on a webcam site. A sexy one too. Full of crazy people in chat rooms all with webcams and microphones talking to each other. I've never seen anything like this in my life seriously. Man it was sick. I was reading the friendly banter that was popping up on screen and decided to click on a few names to see who was talking. OOOPS!!!! Made the mistake of clicking on dis geezer who had his cam on but u couldnt see his face. Nooooooooooooo! All u could see was him wanking his fucking cock off! So I quickly clicked on a girl who (he was probably looking at) was chatting, and she was doing all kinds of crazy shit with a massive blue dildo (I hope none of my girl friends are reading this. If you are. Remember I had drunk nearly 15 litres of 7.4% Scrumpy and please forgive me. lol)

Anyway, I couldnt find the right button to get off the girl with the big blue dildo. Then some girl asked me to put my cam and mic up. I said ok I will if u want to see my big one. She said yes please. I said ok, cammed up and showed her my big 5 litre bottle of Scrumpy and said Ave Some Of Dat!!! She was beautiful and laughed into my headfones. I could see her and hear her and she could me, so we didnt need to type anymore. Its like a free videofone. Amazing!
So while all these very open minded people are wanking and frigging themselves off, I sitting here just chatting to this georgeous American gal, and playing her some off my drum&base. Its a bit like dat dude off of Human Traffic except I never run up a £150 fone bill. Ended up talking to her for like 3 or 4 hours about life and eternity. By 3am she had managed to persuade me to give up drinking! lmfao
Next day I gave up drink cold turkey style and fuck me did I pay for it. My doctor has actually advised me not to do this but I did it anyway. DT's kicked in big time. Wont go into the details, but I could even drink water without throwing up for 24hours. Gettin wiv da sickness bigtime.
Luckilly after 3 days off da booze I was well enough to drive a truck to help me folks move house (all thanx to da girl on da net. Destiny eh?) Been helping dem move all week. Man have dey got a lot of stuff.

Anyway I is well up for some poker now and da booze is well back on, but on me normal levels. I was goin crazy for a while. Even missed last weeks live game coz I was too hammered to get into the pub. Should be on for tomoz tho I'll let u all know.
Time for some drunken internet table mashing.....

Put It In Cyder!!!!

Real Slack

2007-06-18T05:38:00.001Z

(tune of the day: Gangtsa Boogie, only a cut sorry. Heard a wicked drumbase remix of "I bring in da future" will try find it for next time. Pic is the Tree of Slack)

Been really slack recently. Aint dropped a post for ages (dont know where I got that weird pic for the last one. Too much wanking makes you go blind I spose). Aint even switched on me computer for nearly a week. I would like to say this is because I have spent most of my time reading "Harrington on Hold'em" but the trooth is, I've just been getting totally wankered evry day. There's nothing new there, but I'm now in the position where I am forced to take poker a little more seriously (jokes). If I lose both my acc stacks I'm out for a while so I only start playing if I'm sober or semi pissed. And I've been totally pissed from dawn til dusk recently. Thanks for the comment on last post Cadmunkey. Yes I will keep up the drinking.

Really loving Dan Harrington's book "Harrington on Hold'em". Cheers Al!!! If anyone aint read it yet, go out and get it coz its genius. (comes in two volumes and is mainly dedicated to tournament play)

Went down my local on Friday to play in the ammateur poker league. Its basically a big freeroll, but the guys in my local take it really seriously. I was amazed how much fun a freeroll can be. This was my first big live game against people I dont know and it was wicked. I told everyone I was a rookie and didnt really know much about poker (ha ha). Cant remember how many times I heard the words "Beginner's Luck Mate!" lol. I totally destroyed these fishees even tho I had been drinking hard since 8am (7pm now). Shades and hoodie up I look like Phil Lac.

There were 4 tables with 8 or 9 on each. I was sat next to some cool older dude who I later found out was known to be a local master (used to specilaise in 3 card Brag). Drinks (Scrumpy) got served to the table, and you can smoke too (gona be so gutted next month :-( facist government cunts). Everyone in there seemed to know each other (I know its my local but I dont do much pubbin and this was out the back anyway) and there was a really good atmosphere. People politely told me it was my turn to bet while I was chatting up the lovely barmaid, and everyone pissed themselves when I knocked my pint all over the table while I was dealing. I really was wasted but they said they do it all the time.

Dont get me wrong, my drunkeness was a cunning deception. I was paying attention to every single thing these folks did. Apart from when the bar maid was serving me, and I lost a lot of chips coz of her. lol I was talking shit to everyone wen I had a shit hand to try and suss em out. Card dead for practically the whole tournament with only 3 good hole cards I can remember.

At the start I built my stack with some amazing bluffs, purely through talking shit to people. One hand I have J10 in late. All fold down to man on my right who raises 2xBB. I doubled it and he called. I said "oh shit I didnt think you were gonna call that" Flop Q22 rainbow. He bets half the pot. I said "Man that a week bet and I down think you're trying to trap me" He said "Wot?". I said "I mean I dont think you have the 2! How many chips you got?" I put him allin and he folded and showed A10, I laughed and mucked. lol I fucking love live games!!!

There was a girl at the table who refused to talk any shit with me and her stack was increasing big time. She was good. Played her on the final table later. B4 that I got moved. Nine of us and I took out two of em. One with AA the other with a straight wen he couldnt fold even when he had not pot odds to call his 2 pair.

The next guy I took out was fucking SiiiiiiK! He was a seriously big geezer and I thought he was gona knock me out when I took all his chips. He was playing real tiight on a mid stack but I had him cover 3 or 4 times over so wasnt afraid of a coin flip. He bets half his stack utg and the blinds are creaping up now. All fold to me in cutoff and the rest have nothing to scare me with. I'm sure he wouldnt play AA KK QQ like that and put him on AK AQ. I decide to see a flop with 67o hopeing to see a low flop and push him off (lol he was commited). Flop J86 rainbow. He makes a small continuation bet and I raise him allin. He calls and flips AQo as predicted. I show and say Yes Yes!" He like wot da fuck? You raise allin with bottom pair!?" Now the dealer has stopped to listen to us. lol. I said " Yeah but I knew you didnt have anything and I did so I put you allin. You called allin with a 6 outer. That makes you 4 to 1 dog in my book." lol. Jesus drunken live games could really get me into trouble. He looked like he was going to kill me, serious. He said "Hope I'll hit the fucking board man!" Turn comes a sweet 6. And he jumped up like he was gona doo me. I told him sorry for the bad beat mate and luckilly he said dont worry I do people all the time (not entirely sure wot he meant by that). Cant remember the river coz I was too busy planning an escape root.

Made the final table but was up against the quiet girl from b4. She was wey chip leader and bullied the table magnificently. She lost a couple massive hands tho to a girl on her left who knew was she was up to. I think she knocked her out in the end. I was reaching passout point and was a bit concerned about the amount of people standing behind me (they were only watching the game tho). Got blinded down quite badly and decided to steel the blinds with a push from my lucky hand 67o (silly boy). Geeza took ages to call but with AJ (I think) It held. Me and Everyone in the room cracked up wen they saw my cards. He only just had me covered but that was me done for the night. 4th place.

GG GG VfuckingGG

I will be back coz there is a lot of local pride at stake and most of em play home games. Got a couple numbers. Bring on the cash!

Put It In Cyder!!!

Er wot dont know???? Eh?

2007-06-12T17:45:00.001Z

(tune of the day: Its by Sp!tt!ng V!triol. Cant remember what its called but its fucking wicked. Pic is of me in twenty years if I live dat long, except da face)

Not much play last night. Relized my Lllllovit Llloyds acc aint been frozen yet and put $77 into Crypto. Was speakin to my mate Romber and asked for a suggestion of wot game to play (I was well fucked and needed some help) His bro Nick had just won a fat mtt and I didnt even know the geezer played. So me and Nick went into the $2k gtd for $20. I got totally fucked but made an amazing fold that I am very drunkenly proud of. Cant remember the cards exactly but I flopped a set. Kinda slow played it by half betting the pot. On the river there was a possible made str8 and I bet the pot. It took me ages to think this thru but I thought dat from his actions he was chasing dat str8 and had made it. He went allin and even tho pot committed I fold. Tx to dat man coz he showed his cards and he did make da str8. Even so I was left crippled with 410 chips. My mate Nick had 900 and something but busted. Didnt see the hand.

I managed to tripple up with QQ allin pre. After that I fucking rinced da fishees. Was chip leader for a while but drunk as fuck. Made some major mistakes and went down to 4th place. Not sure wot happened after that coz I was fucking wankered. 1st place was like $850 bucks. I busted in 14th for $27.50. $7.50 profit for the night.

lol

Put It In Cyder!!!

Rant Time!!!!

2007-06-11T19:00:00.000Z

(still loving UKbase radio. wkd oldskool set atm)

Ryt heres how it starts....?.....actually I forgot wot happened this morning. Anyway it invloved cyder after work and I spunked $90 on cash across BluSq and Crypto on a massive drunken tilt. That was practically my whole fucking roll. Have $3.25 left on BluSq and 500mpps on crypto which I'm using for the cpt subs atm.

Woke up feeling like asbolute shit and phoned in sick. My boss didnt fucking believe me the cunt. Unfortunately he knows I'm goin bust and the less I earn the better atm, but I cant afford a whole fucking night off when I only work 3 nights a week. I told him I have seiring gut pains and I think I have gastoenteritous coz my mate had it last week and was round my house drinking the next day. He said "Yeah wotever". Mate even if I dont have that I do have the shits and its a fucking food factory so it would be breaking the law if I showed up anyway. Then I said nah I feel really fucking bad man! And he said "so do I mate, so do I" The fucking CUNT! If he gives me any shit next week, he's gona be the one with seiring gut pain, Believe!

The last time a boss of mine said you're lieing, I can tell you are drunk. I siad fuck you, went to work and tried to bottle the fucking slag. Luckilly everyone who worked there overpowered me and unbelievably the police didnt get called. Obviously I wasnt actually ill that day, and was pissed as a cunt, but its the principle of the matter.

Where was I? Oh yeah, think I'm gona have to start playing on ultimatebet now coz they take western union money. Big shout goes out to Al for letting me know bout that. Also, bigup yaself brudda! This man is one of the safest blokes I have ever met. He's just sent me a brand new copy of Harrington On Holdem. Cheers bruv, I swear I will read it and I think I'm gona need it too.

Al lives in New York State but doesnt have a blog, so I'll post this one for u Brudda!: (lol)

He aint played online poker for over 3 months coz his yankie isp blocks any transactions to a poker account. So he deposited $100 via Western Union to some guy in the Phillipennes. Sounds dodgy right? But it worked and he sits down at $2/$4 with the whole $100. Very bad choice of stakes imo but its the sort of thing I would do, and he's used to playing at this level. His very 1st hand was KK utg. He makes it $12. Fold down to BB who calls. Flop 8910 rainbow. He's like "yeah baby I'm takin this one down". lol. BB checks, Al bets the pot. BB reraises allin with $450. Al calls (poor fucker) and matey flips over 67o. Ouch! Thats Al dun for the night. Western Union aint open at that time of day. First hand in 3 months as well. Sorry mate, I feel bad for ya!

Live blogging update: Playing a cpt sub. 2 slags are allin pre, one of em has me covered. I call with KK. They flip 106o and 102o lmfao, and held.

Jesus just busted my 77 vs K10. My fault for allin preflop.

Fuck me. Nearly forgot to mention this. Big shout out to my mate Romper who made £1000 in the last 3 weeks. Nice one mate! Bout time we had another live hu battle eh?

Put It In Cyder!!!!!

Fuck It!

2007-06-07T05:17:00.000Z

No tune of the day: and this is a really quick post. I'm sooo stressed out right now. I ran out of Cyder but my m8 Law left me a bottle of Voddie which I've been drinking. Got my $44 on BluSq up to $84 then finished on $77.84. Nearly a double up playing $0.10/0.20. Totally destroyed those cunts but have run out of baccy. Waited till 6am and de guy in de newsagents wont take cards and he wouldnt give me any tick. Pissed off ryt now. I need a fucking cigarette.!!!!!
Must admit I have done well tonight. I busted $20 then busted some more. I was down to my last $11.50 which I sat with and played. Turned that into the $84 I spoke of earlier, so I cant complain really.
BOLLOCKS i'M FUCKED OFF FUCK DA LOTA YA AND GIV ME A FUCKING CIGGY FFS!!!!

4HandShandy

2007-06-05T09:31:00.000Z

(tune of the day: No tune of the day coz I been away for ages so just a link to UK bass radio. They drop it 24/7. Dont know nuffing bout the bart chakar band but 2HandShandy is gona rince it 4HandJulie style AIII!)

Hope all me bloggin bridrins is doin ok. Aint been on da net for a while but did have de chance to see dat Amatay won de Britay Bloggamentalay. Well done mate!!!

As with dat I aint played no poker. Decided against playin $5/$10 with all I had to my name, and cashed out £200. I aint gona see dat shit coz I is 2 g's in da red wiv dose slags but wen I go bankrupt I fink dat will run in me favour. Dat left me with $17 in Blu and I had $15 rakeback in Crypto. De offee was gona open in 25 mins so I didnt wanna do no heavy mtt and against my religion I played some thunderstorm 6 seaters ($2 jobbies, back to earth eh?). Came 2nd,2nd,1st. and I is now on $22.50 free me efforts. (loving de uk bass radio ryt now, hope it loads up for u guys)

Had to stop playing pokes wen I ran out of backy after a hard night at work and only 1/4 pint of Cyder left. Broke into me penny jar and counted out £6 in sherapnal. I knew dey wouldnt take it at de offee so took it in a bag to cash at de bank but tried me card 1st. Bought 3 litres of de good stuff and an once of baccy, and would u adam an eve it me card cleared it. Yes Yes. So got booze and baccy now and is gona catch up wid all me bloggin bredrins now. Hope u has all bin doin ok. Especially I is checkin in on de man like Yorkie Pud who I now know was takin de piss wen he asked me if I drive a combine harvestor. lol

(post post edit. I'm goin well offf de plot now) When I went to India I went to stay with a friends familly right out in the countryside. They took me for a ride (6 of us) on a tractor across some of his Uncles maze fields which went on as far as your bloodshot eyes can see. We got out to this place miillions of miles into the middle of nowhere and its all flat; to have a smoke. You can see as far as you can see in every direction and it was all his land. He asked me in Punjabi if I could drive a tractor. My mate translerated and I told him: "Mate I grew up in da WestCountry and de first thing I learnt to drive was a tractor!" (wen I was 11) He let me drive dis antique tractor all da way back to da village (6 people clinging on for dair lives) and I hit da village. I drove it right thru dem ricketty lanes past people compacting cowpats for a living, and they couldnt believe wot they were seeing. They had never seen a white man before. When they finally did, he was driving a tractor! Put It In Cyder. SouthWestSide AIII!"!!!!!!

Hittin de tabs in a mo 2 so wish me luck.

Post Post

Forgot to mention dis! Got fucking wankered down the pub de uvva night but big world comes small. Bumped into a gezza who knows lots of me crew from London (proven fact) and he's a Lanson bey. He was tellin me bout his best mate who plays $5/$10 and lives in Lanson. Low an behold he turned up. I was chattinin all poker related shit to him and while playing pool (he beat me da slag) but he also told me a veryy valid piace of info mation. HE GETS RAKEBACK ON BLUESQUARE BOYS!!!! Maybe I'm a bit behind on the times but I didnt think that was possible. He told me the site but I was wasted and dont know wot de fuck it was. I aint dat stupid tho coz I got his email adddee and I should be getting da details later. Not dat I give a fuck coz I cant put any money back into dat site for at least a year, but I know it will help out some of me bredrins. I'll emaily it as soon as I get it.(obviously u need a knew acc to do it tho)

Another hot tip I got was from my mate in da U S of A. He aint been able to play poker coz his server shuts down even sites that accept yankie slag muffins ( no offence m8). He's found a site that he can play on by putting his money through Western Union. They give u a password for your money and you can play. I do believe I have found a way over the bankruptcy fence. Get In There!!! (or over it at least)

Avit U Slags!

2007-05-28T00:47:00.000Z

(tune of the day: Maybe I am insane but I cant stop lisening to "Automatic Predator" on repeat. Sorry if you're board of this tune but tuff shit anyway I'm addicted.)

Really pissed off with mtts right now. Cant seem to win a damn thing of those bitches. Been drinking since last post and went down the pub to get even more wasted with my likkle bro. Got home and played a couple multies. Busted a $5 very quickly. Cant remeber the hand. Then busted in a $15 jobbie AJ vs QJ allin on the J high flop and the slag caught a str8.

Decided to ignore the advice of my good friends who have advised me to stay away from the cash tables, and sat down at $2/$4 with $100. Unusually I sat down at the loosest table I could find and the first 3 hands I watched were totally shocking. One guy had $995 and was imo playing like a total dick. He rasied to $30 pre with 95o and caught a set on the flop. Next hand I get AK utg and make it $12. 3 callers, flop 3A5 two diamonds. I didnt want to chance someone hitting a flush and jam. This prick calls me with AJ (spades) and I take down a $225 pot. Thats a days wages in one hand!

Put It In Cider!!!!

Post Post

Fuck me $2/$4 is sooooo siiiick! Lost $100 in about 3 hands so left the table. Sat down at another with $100 next to a dude who was on the last table, multy tabling. I had a pair of Js and caught a set on the flop. This cunt kept reraising me to the river where I check jammed and he showed AJ. Made my money back plus $25. That was another $225 pot. Running well hot atm but I is totally wankered so I'm gona call it a night b4 I lose everything. Fucking shit myself when I lost that $100 and cant believe I won it back so quickly. I think I might be getting addicted to this gambling malarky!

GL Folks!!!!

2HandShandy Strikes Back! (plus pps)

2007-05-27T11:43:00.000Z

(tune of the day: Intolerence by ElyMuff. Wair are you m8?)

Asboslutely gutted! No main Teknival event this year due to too much rig confiscation at the last one. Fucking Pigs! We're not hurting anyone you slags! And they wonder why there's so much violence when they show up with pepper spray. Fucking cunts I fucking hate 'em. There's still two fat parties going on right now but I couldnt make it to either :-(

Did the sng thing but was well wasted. Won the first but busted the rest and polished off my last £20 on cash.

Had a phone call from the bank yesterday, probly trying to find out why I am so much over my limit. I told them I was Paul's lodger and Paul is on holiday for two weeks. They said they would send me a letter. So #### #### ########## ## #### ## ######. In a $10 freezout at the mo and I'm chip leader atm. Asboslutely rincing these fishees!

Will post post later.

Put It In Cyder!!!!

Post Post

Just read Amatay's blog. V funny m8, as always. Not sure what site he's into but if you wanna find good free porn go to myfreepaysite.com you have to give them an email addee to get a password but you dont get sent no shit and there's no viruses.

Just got dealt pocket 4s three time in a row and couldn't find a set. Next hand pocket 3's and I caught a 3 on the K high flop. Some prick went allin with K4 (no 4 on the board) and I took the slag out! lol

Post Post Post

Got fucked off playing tournies. Put $20 into a $5 rebuy. My KK got busted twice. The first one really hurt. I min raised preflop and got put allin by two slags. The first one had QJo and busted, the second slag had 34o and caught a fucking str8! ffs. Not sure if I tilted or not but had to leave when my KK ran into bullets allin preflop.

So I sat down for some cash action $0.50/$1 and lost $40. #### ### ####### #### ######## ## #### wank and stuck it in Blu. Sat down at $1/$2 and just took down a $150 pot when my 44 caught a set and the dude couldnt fold aces. Left that table and I is in another rebuy. $3 this time. Very drunk so taking it easy and listening to some gabba for a change. lol

btw busted out in 37th in the ~$10 fo. 495 runners, paid to 30. Damn shame. Didnt actually realise how close I was to the bubble. Should have played a little tighter. In 3rd place in the $3 rebuy atm. 799 runners this will be a battle. Wish me luck!

PPPPost

Busted 106th. Getting pissed off with tourneys again. Might try ###### ##### ## ##### #####(just fo fun). If it does I'm having a good old fashioned 2HandyShandy. Fukkit I'm gonna try for a grand!

PP
PPPPpppPost

Solidely sick!!! Asbofukking lootley off my tits right now but manaheged to take down a $212 pot on $1/$2. Also, ######## ######## ########### ###### #### #####. Not quite ready for a wank yet coz I has got 3 litres of Cyder and plenty of poker to play. I really cant believe how much better the standard of play is at $1/$2. These cunts will fold anything! LMFAO!!!!!

Bollocks! Might have to stop playing poker and cash my BluSq money. Got the fucking fraud squad on my ass now. FUCK!!!! Sometimes my Drunken activities really do make me want to shit myself! lol

Wind and Go Down

2007-05-22T15:47:00.000Z

(tune of the day: fucked it up sorry. Had a wicked sample from Sexy Beast. I'm listening to it now so, Maybe later)

Aint played no poker yet this week but I will be taking the good advice Kenn gave me. Me and cash games are no more. I'm gonna stick to sng's. Maybe get up to the $50 buyin mark on these. Only have £10 left to put in so will start with $5 jobbies on BluSq.

Saw my dept councillor and he helped me fill out some forms. Should be bankrupt in about 4 weeks. Get In There! ha ha. Apparently my alkeehole problem will help reduce my monthly payments but my "gambling" will make him want to punish me. Unfortunately I cant lie about this coz its all in my bank statements so I'm just gonna tell him I'm really good at poker when I'm sober and wanted to make a living out of it, problem is, I'm never sober. I know he wont understand but I hope I dont get stung too bad. It's only a grand in a year afterall.

Time to hit the tables!

Put It In Cyder!!!

It's Official: I am dumber than I look!

2007-05-20T05:19:00.000Z

(tune of the day: really need to chill out after a hard night at work so here's a nice little Old Skool set by DJ Flipside. If you dont have RealPlayer just exit the sign up rubbish and it should load anyway. Enjoy.)

I'm absolutely crushed at the mo. My £100 to £500 plan was complete anihilation. I'm so gutted right now I nearly didn't do this post.

First things first. A big Happy 30th Birthday shout goes out to my mate Bars! Hope you had a good one mate (not sure if you read this but I'm sure Romper can pass it on).

I missed the party last night and thats the main reason I'm so gutted right now. After rincing my £100 I had no choice but to go to work lastnight. Gutted!

#Heres what happened: Totally wasted as ever so only single tabling 25p/50p. Lost my 1st £25 real quick to a suckout and reloaded. Got that £25 up to £80 after about 2hours playing the same people for a change. I know I should have left the table then but my Drunken logic told me I needed £100 to call it a double up. Unfortunlatly I'm just coming up to the 6litre mark and something must have twisted my brain. I started telling all these cats that I was a pro and had won a WSOP braclet (lol) and the only reason I was playing these stakes was to teach a mate how to rince fishees. ffs! Anyway I got clocked str8 away for being a drunkad allin bluffer and some guy was actually cussing me for talking cod shit. So when I got cowboys I decided to cashin on my codshit with a preflop jam. Got called by A8s who caught the A on the flop and I couldnt find the K. Lost an £88 pot on that one. I chilled for a bit and started hitting out with A rag and got out kickered each time.

Now any skill that I was playing with went totally out the window coz I was looking for a quick fix. Not to be. Rinced my whole stack in about half an hour. Yes its true, I actually am dumber than I look.

So ok, it teknically wasn't actually my money that I was playing with coz the bank was stupid enough to extend my od limit, but thats not the point. I really did need to win enough money to pay for my busto. So now I'm back to skid row and couldnt afford to call in sick to go to my mates party. All night I've been cussing my self. Couldnt even get a fone call through to my mate. I'm such a looser sometimes. Feeling a bit better now coz I've got one pint of Cyder left but I've still got a lot of stuff to sort out b4 I go bust. Told myself I wouldnt be playing anymore poker and this was gona be my last post for the month, and I was gona give up drinking, but we all know that aint true. Even if they do cancel my internet connection I can still hook it up through someone else and get them to load up my poker account for me cash. You cant keep this Drunk man down!

Probly wont be playing Crypto for a while but will deff be sticking the odd fiver into BluSq.

GG GL and Put It In Cyder!!!

Get off My PC

2007-05-18T21:40:00.000Z

(tune of the day: Still having trouble finding Cadmunkey's request of "Mandy" by Barry Maniloe. Did find the Bollywood version "Oh Mandip" but I couldnt upload it so you guys are stuck with. "Love u long time" On One Inch Punch records by Ely Muff. Cant get enough of this tune)

Decided to put £100 into Crypto lastnight. Still couldnt find Cadmunkey. Maybe next time eh?

Rinced £45 really quickly 4 tabling 25p/50p. I was so wasted I thought I was sober. My m8 Romper came and sat next to me on one table. I was so hammered it took me 5 mins to notice. lol. My mate Phill came round with 3 litres of Cyder and I let him play a few hands. In the time it took me to pour a pint he had already rinced £10 off one table. So I sat and watched what he was doing. He asked me if he should raise with 102o utg. Then I realized he was more wasted than me. I said he could raise when he got A8s but he got reraised then raised again. He said " I think they're bluffing I'm allin" (for £35!) I grabbed the mouse of him and told him to fook off (which inspired pic of the day). So I'm about £45 down and I went down the pub. Got board and came back for some poker. Knowing how pissed I was I booted up pokerstove to keep me occupied while not in the hand. Managed to make another tenner but cant remember any hands coz I was well twated. Acc bal is now $140. My aim is to make £500 so I can pay for bankrupcy.

Time to read some blogs and try catch up with Kenn on the WSOP sub.

Put It In Cyder!!!

UK Teknival 2006 at Davidstowe,Cornwall

2007-05-16T03:12:00.000Z

For some reason this vid will only play for a limited time on my blog so get it while its hot!
Please let me know if you could or could not view it. If anyone cant get it just go to www.youtube.com and search for the above title to see what Im talking about. I would really appreciate it if someone could tell me why I am having problems putting youtube vids on me blog. Cheers
In the mean time I'll be watching all the other mental parties that are on youtube. Cant wait to get back on the scene after I go bust. Live the Dream! Its even better than wanking!!!
Put It In Cyder!!!

So Lonely With Out $$$

2007-05-15T23:11:00.000Z

(tune of the night "Newskool Retaliation" by Enticer)

Shout out to Cadmunkey for updating his blog at my request. You can pick a tune of the day if you want mate, long as I got it in my bag lol. Good to hear from you mate and glad you made a profit.

Went round the ol'dears for a curry tonight (man it was hot) and God Bless 'Er she had a bottle of Frosty Jacks in the fridge for me. I am not worthy.

Got home and checked my Crypto acc. for a laugh and found out that I had already cashed my $20 bonus. Must have been well wasted last week to not notice that. lmao. SWEET!

Kept to my plan of double and up but made the mistake of starting on NL$25 and not NL£25 which is where I have been getting paid off lately. Jesus Christ I should have listened to Cadmunkey. Those fukkers call and raise with anything! Stuck to my guns tho anyway and waited for a monster, watching fat pots go down with 92o vs 24s vs A2o etc. and was just glad to be creaming rakeback pennies for tomoro. My plan was to sit down with half max buyin at every level so if it all went wrong I could start again. I know this is well fishy but I've noticed people dont respect your ability or cash flow if you dont have max buyin (a strategy I should only use on higher stakes coz these cunts dont give a fuck!)

Got my stack up to $18 and should have moved up here really. This crazy mo fo kept raising up with f all and I thought I could nail him for a double up. QQ on a J high flop and I reraise him allin on his $1.25 bet into a $3 pot. He calls with Ax and hits on the river. SLAG!

Next half buyin was even worse and got dicked by some serious bad luck. Oh well thats low stakes I guess. I would have been better off doing the lot in a slot machine. My odds on a win were a lot higher.

Totally skint now and my bank acc. is still frozen so no more play till 2moz. Its well shit being a night worker when its 1am, all my mates who are usually around through the early hours have pulled birds for the night, and I aint got no more money for poker. I need me a biatch!

Put my poker skills (lol) to work in a different way today. I'm about £450 over my od limit with my bank and they froze my acc. and have been trying to call me to give me abuse:

Dealing Cards: Bank raises 3 calls on my mobile and I fold each time. Bank raises a call on my landline (dont know how they found that), and I raise (answer). Bank must be holding something big coz he puts in a closeout bet of "You are massively overdrawn and you must pay by tomoro". Now I'm sitting with pocket KKs and decide to slow play call with "Really, I knew there was a problem with my wages last week but..."

Flop comes xxx. Bank makes it "If you dont pay us by tomoro its out of our hands" Now I know he's got bullets but I reraise with "Thats bang out of order you guys made the mistake with my rent money in the first place" He calls "I'll have to consult my line manager please wait a moment.

Turn x. He checks with "I'm very sorry sir it does seem we were not supposed to have charged you" I check with "Hmmm".

River x. He makes it "But you are still over you limit even without our mistake". I reraise with "It was your fault and my wages will cover it (like fuck) later in the week" He rereaises with "Your wages wont cover it and your acc. will remain frozen until we repay our mistake(fukkin slag! that means I cant even get my wages)" I reraise allin with "I will be using my card to get my wages otherwise I will contact the banking ombotsmon to file an official complaint!". He thinks for ages (talking to his boss) and folds with "Ok sorry sir we have extended your od facilatay to accomodate" Get In There! Bluffed a £450 pot! Little did he know I would have cheated anyway with Aces up my sleve "Bankrupcy". I'll save them for next weeks game. LOL

Put It In Cyder!!!

Impending Doom

2007-05-15T09:11:00.000Z

(tune of the day fittingly titled "Impending Doom", nice likkle triphead rockka!)

Been away from da net so aint checked up on nobody yet. Hope you folks is all bin doin natty AIII!

Totally and utterly broke atm. My debt advisor still aint sent my bankrupcy application but hoping to hear from him today. Schemin on a little plan to get another bottle of Cyder but my 1ltre will have to do for now. Havent tried rincin with neteller coz I'm hoping another rent cheque will go through b4 I go totally busto. Should be getting my wages in cheque form next week so I've invested in a magic ink remover and my weeks wages should be quite close to the £250K mark. lol.

Just had an amazing email which inspired me to write this post really. Interpoker are now doin twice monthly rakeback payments. Sweet Mother of Marey!!! This means that I get my rakeback tomorow YES YES!!! I was only 2 points away from collecting my reload bonus when I busted and wasn't sure if I would ever see it. The DrunkenMonk is back baby!!!

Put It In Cyder!!!

Post Post

Jesus Christ its 12pm already. I promised a mate I would wake him up round his house at 8am which I did, so he didnt miss his probation. He said he'd be round my house with a bottle of Cyder at 11am. He's half an hour late ffs and I've only got a few sips left. I am about to eneter HELL!!!

Tagged (I wondered what that meant)

2007-05-13T07:15:00.000Z

( tune of the day is a funky break by Ronin called War on Error. Pic is of me when I looked in the mirror on acid. lol)

Right so I've been "tagged" by Burnley Mik. Cheers mate. I wandered what that was coz a mate of mine e-tagged me ages ago. I thought it was a phising scam and deleted it twice. Havent heard from her since. Hope she still likes me. lol

So as I see it, I gotta think of 7 things that most people dont know about me. Thats gonna be tough coz as most of you know I am a long term cronic alcoholic and have forgotten most of the intersting information I once had. Ok here goes:

1. I am a long term alcoholic. And lovin it! lol

2. Went to Uni in London back in the late 90's. Shared a house with some fellow student folk. Came home one sunny afternoon drunk as ever and a mate had lent me some filth on video. As most red blooded young students do, I wacked it in the tape player, pressed play, and took off my most of clothes for a quick one off the wrist (hate those stains). It was a really hot day so I went to open the window. Unfortunately I had sash windows and the cord broke. The window slammed down hard trapping my finger inside. I let out a cry of pain unwittingly alerting my fellow house mates to my predick-ament. This is also when I reallised I had left my 750 watt surround sound system at full volume from a party the night before. The porn kicked in full pen at full volume (aparently you could hear it from the end of the street). All the girls from upstairs came rushing into my room to see wtf was goin on! They found me stuck to the window in my boxer shorts watching some of the roughest filth they have ever seen. Jesus, still havent lived that one down.

3. Used to work as a delivery driver in London. A mate known as Dangerous Kidneys showed up around midnight with some booze. It was Wednesday and I explained I had to work in the morning but he werent havin it so I had a couple pints with him. Its like 2am and I told him this was my last pint and he agreed while pooring it. I'm sitting there drinking and these two cunts (him and Diggy) are sitting there pissing themselves laughing like girls! I cant make any sense of it and decide to drink up and go to bed. As I'm downing the pint I notice there's a picture of Rupert the Bear at the bottom. U SLAAAGS!!!! I hadnt done drugs in years and now these cunts had put me on an acid trip right before I had to go to work. I was not happy! After the minor punch up, I decided whether or not I was gonna drive a 7.5 ton truck around mental London for 10 hours. Wont tell you what I did but I did have a really wicked day.

4. Went to a squat party entitled "Porn and Gabba". This flyer had a picture of a man pissing into a glass with a woman about to drink it. Being sure I would pickup a nice lass at this party I went along. It was in an old abandoned cinema in Hackney and they had manged to rig up the main screen. And no shit they were playing filth all night while blasting out gabba. Siiik! I knew this guy who just cant stop talking, and he sat down on the main stage to yabba sht at some poor gal. We're all shouting at him to get off the stage and this just drove him on to talk more. Some people were actually throwing up now. He didn't realize that he was sitting in front of the projector, and all we could see were cocks going into his mouth. lol

5. Thats it from me else peeps are gonna stop reading my blog.

Poker: last played on Friday but was too gutted to post so can now only remeber one or two hands, sry (the first I played). NL£25 sat down with £25. Dealt AA on the button. utg makes it £4, mid makes it £10, so I jam. Both call to show QQ and KK and you guessed it. The slag hit a K on the turn and I couldnt beat it. Ended up busting £75 very quickly with some bad moves and luckilly a mate showed up with a bottle of Cyder.

I decided to let him take the rains on some lower stakes. He actually offered me cash to play but he's more of a rookie than me and I didnt want to see him loose his money, so bankrolled him as long as I had final shout on the allins. This was kool coz I got to sit back and down cider while he 4 tabled 15c/25c. It was really good fun to watch coz he's picked up poker pritty quick. He made a tidy little some on all tables but then he/we learned how to go on double bubble tilt. He wanted to bet $4 into a $10 pot when we flopped top str8. There were two soots there and I told him to go allin. Got called by flush draw who connected on the river for a $60 pot.

It was almost funny to see the look on my mates face. Even tho it wasnt his money he looked sooo crushed. I werent having this shit so I was like "raise up on every table!" And he kept asking "should I go allin?" We played for about 3 hours (amazingly) but man were we hammered by the end. Cant remember what hands we busted out on but I managed to blow my entire $244 roll. Ouch! My mate put his head in his hands and I think I could hear him sobbing. I had to laugh. Its only money and I'm actually only £10 down for the week so sod it. Good fun at the tables! Plus I think my bank is still giving me unlimited roll (maybe they think neteller is a petrol station) so might have to wack in a wod before they find out about my imminent bankrupcy. lol

Put It In Cider!!!

She Showed Me Her Ass And I Smacked It!

2007-05-11T04:43:00.000Z

(I am so fucking wasted right now its unreal. Tune of the day is a well trippy numba by Ronin from the HedFuk crew. Wkd tune imo.)

Poker: Right this shit is fucked up. I've been on a bad one all day about how messed up my financial situation is so I been hitting the booze pritty hard. Got a phone call from the almighty leg end named Yorkshire Pudding. He explained the ins and outs of bankrupcy and helped me a lot. He's a really safe bloke too, thanks Pud, U R A Star!

After that I went back to Crypto and I still had $28 left. I put $10 on two tables each and manged to rince the lot. Went to BluSq and had $6.55 there. Rinced that in about 5 minutes. So now I have nothing at all. Decided to try and put £10 into Netteler and it worked so I put $20 into Crypto. Hahahahhahaha This is really fucking sick!

Multi tabled 15c/25c for a bit on 3 tables and trippled up on all 3. Took the advice that Kenn gave me (thanks mate!!!) and left all the tables and started again with just $10 on one 10 seater. Kenn you are a fucking ledgend mate! I was well well wasted by this time, its like 2am. And I'm only single tabling. I manage to turn $10 into $102 on a single table in an hour. Then I start thinking about what Cadmunky said. He reckons Crypto is really bad for suckouts at the lower levels, and I'm thinking fuckit I'll move up to the levels he plays on. (really wasted atm).

So I sit down for a single table sesh on 25p/50p. I've always been terrible at table selection and DrunkenMonk sat down at a table with £10 on a ten seater vs £80, £95, £60, £75, and £185. I made a few quid with some solid poker but Jesus Christ this was siiiick! The girl with £185 raises my J10s to £2 utg. I'm in late pos and there's no way I can refuse a bet like that. She obviously aint got a very strong hand coz there's no way you would play it like that utg on a stack like that. And I reckon she must have been bullying these boys for a while before I got here. All fold down to me and I make it £8 to go. (this is really sick) She flat calls and flop comes 5810 rainbow. I'm actually quite worried now coz I never put her on a good hand but she could have easilly hit something here. (maybe trip 5s). She puts £5 in and I aint cuntin around so make it £10 to see what shes holdin. She flat calls me and turn is a J. She bets £5 and I insta-jam. River is a Monk rag and she flips over A10. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! £50 pot to me! I cuntinue to rince this bitches stack(she left with 11 quid lol) and all the other cunts on the table and now have a wopping $244 in my Crypto acc. I started with $20 ffs. Get In There!!!

Put It In Cyder!!!

Post Post

Hang on a minute. How fucking shit faced am I now and was I then? Totally and utterly! One for the DrunkenMonk I belive.

Post Post Post

Its 8am now and I am still knocking back the Cyder. Went to Crypto to see if this really was true, and Yes! I turned $20 into $244.42 in the space of 2 hours. Nice!!! The DrunkenMonk staggers on!!!!! Probably going to have one off the wrist now.

BOOM!

2007-05-10T15:52:00.000Z

(tune of the day is a right messed up likkle number by Ely Muff called "Incest Is Best". He must have WestCuntry roots. lol. Great sister skull fuck samples. AVVIT! in your eye! Picture was taken by someone watching me play poker last night)

Dont know why I'm bothering to post this really coz I cant remember a single thing about last night. Passed out round a mates house and woke up around 11pm. Had another 3litres at home in the fridge so went back to play some poker. Decided to fuck the bank off and put £50 into Crypto. Got up to $185 multi tabling cash. Jesus that shit is good fun. Unfortunately I think they clocked me as a drunk on every table and I busted all bar $16. Bugger!

Just run out of Cyder so will be trying to screw another bottle off my card in a mo. I really wish whores took switch! Right back on the tables in a bit!

Nuff ruspec to Yorkshire Pudding for helping me out with my debt problems. Cheers Brudda!

~Put It In Cider!!!!

Get In There!!!

2007-05-09T13:55:00.000Z

(Tune of the day is called Love You Long Time by the almighty Ely Muff. Need I say more? Long intro so have some patience you slags this tune is asbolutely sick!!!)

My dreadlock mate came round lastnight. She aint got dreads anymore but we had a wicked time. I'll say no more.

Had a major stroke of luck today (twice?) On the way to the offee I noticed the advice people were in town for their once monthly visit. I aint gona be able to make my minimum payments tomorow so went in for some debt counciling.

This guy was really kool. Knew exactly what he was talking about and said I could easilly get bankruptcy, and actually thought it was a good idea. Basically I need to open a new bank account so I can get my wages and pay my rent. When I go bankrupt I should be able to keep this acc. open coz these days everything is automated and you cant get your wages in cash anymore.

My biggest concern was loosing or having to move out all my sound equipment, and not being able to play online poker anymore. He said cancel all dd's and standing orders right now and fuck both banks right off. "Dont pay them another single fucking penny" his words. Maybe he was relating to the Cyder stench off my breath. As I said, kool bloke. He reckons they cant send the bailiffs round coz I've never had a ccj. By the time they get a warrant I'll be bankrupt anyway. Fucking Nice One!!! I get to keep everything I Monked on. Yeah baby!

Even better. He said I can still keep my phone and internet connection coz they are both vital forms of communication. That means I can keep poking. The DrunkenMonk staggers on!!! (fuckin loving tune of the day right now)

For some strange reason one of my bank acc.s alows me virtually unlimited cash withdrawals (something I actually complained about not long ago). ############# ########## ############ ############. ################## ######## #### ###### # I'll have a quick one off the wrist before buying more Cyder. Hows that for fucking bankroll management?

Card Board City Here I Come! (got some mates there who totally rock.(something to do with their medication))

Poker: Only played a couple hours last night coz I had to tidy up the flat before me tree spirit princess came round.(Me love you long time. Tune of the day still flat out) Dont know where my brain was at coz I put $20 into BluSq when I'm getting 40% rakeback on Crypto. Anyway, got dealt 66 in late po (10c/20c) and recklessly called a $2 raise to go hu. Flop 643 rainbow. Ha Ha! I'm puting this guy on AK QQ or JJ. He makes a cuntinuation bet of $2. I call. Turn J. He makes it $5? Now I put him on overpair, not JJ and jam. He calls. River 7. He shows fucking 55! Jesus fucking Christ you fucking tit wank! Cleaned me out completely.

Took me a bit to reload (ouch I really couldnt afford that) and went back to the same table to take out this filthy stinking fish. I told him "You got lucky that time mate" and he said "Its always dangerous to slow play" I jammed on the fucking turn you CUNT! Anyway I got my money back off the slag and someone else knocked him out. Not sure what my acc. bal is right now but I have some thing to play with so its time to read some blogs and hit the tables. Oh and if anyone has any good advice on how to rince out a bank acc. b4 they go bankrupt I would love to hear it.

Good luck me bredrins and Put It In Cyder! WestCuntry Style AIII!

Fuk Fukedy Fuk Fuk Fuk!

2007-05-08T11:46:00.000Z

This post hast gota be quick coz I'm so fucking pissed off I cant fucking belive it. FUCKING BOLLACKS CUNT FUCK!!!!!!!
The 5 beer plan went str8 out the window when a m8 of mine showed up b4 I had even started playing. It turned into the 10 beer plan and it was goin amazingly well for a mo.
Jesus H I'm so gutted now.
FUCKING BOLLACKS!!!!!!!!
Played two sngs. Cashed in the first, busted in the second then said fuckit I'm playing cash.
Made it up to $35 on the first buyin. But busted it!
Next buyin, made it up to $45 but couldnt leave. Fucking hell! Made my first str8 flush in a cash game today for a massive pot. Caught top full house next hand for another massive pot against A high flush, but for some stupid reason I couldnt leave while I was ahead and busted the fucking lot!
Put another £5 in. £20 down at the time cnt afford.Caught another str8 flush would you fucking believe to put me back into profit, but still I couldn't leave. Fucking bollacks! Blew de whole shebang, put another £5 in and lost that very quickly on tilt. £25 down now and fucking skint! Fucking bollacks I hate this fucking shit and I am so fucking pissed off I cant believe it. Twice now I could have left on a profit but I fukked da fukking lot. FUCKING TIT WANK!!!!!

BOLLOCKS!!!!

DrunkenMonk's Five Beer Plan

2007-05-08T05:55:00.000Z

(tune of the day: this ones by Ronin: "Speedchump". Funky little b boy stlye number. Really good for the earlier hours and has a wicked guitar riff. I like it anywayz. Pic is of some guy named Stalin. He thought hee had a plan!)

Ahh, finished work for another week. Only had to work two days this week. Life is goood. Gotta do four in a row to make up for it next week tho. Thats gona sting worse than a 2HandShandy after a curry sesh.

Right the "Five Beer Plan". Basically my funds are at an all time low and I really need to sort this out coz my mate is coming over this arvo to get mashed and I aint seen her since last summer. Gota get hold of some more booze and that'll be a lot easier if I can fall back on a poker wedge later in the week. (I should really do the weekly washing up and take a bath before she comes too :-)

The plan is, I'm not gona drink more than 5 pints of Cyder b4 midday. Gona put £5 into BluSq and play a $5 sng. If I cash I keep playin the $5s till I double, then move up to the $10s. If I dont cash in the 1st then I move down a bit. Will have to switch on my "shot away loon detector" (you get a lot of them at 7am) to take down some big early pots and cruise from there.

£5 to £50 is my aim for the day, and no matter what happens I'm not playing cash till next week. (well Thursday anyway).

Oh yeah, it was brought to my attention that one or two of my familly members might have found out about my secret drinking/gambling blog. I have 3 things to say about this:

Firstly, Was it you who said "Try sobering up a bit you f##king looser"?

Secondly, How do you know its me anyway. Someone could have been winding you up.

Thirdly, Yes I am proud of myself!

Fourthly, Mum if its you reading. Remember I luv ya! (God bless 'er she's lovely)

Oh and Fithly, My New Years resolution this year was to drunkenly rant at people as often as possible, and for the first time ever I might actually be sticking to it. Something I gota thank the internet for. Previously my drunken rants were only heard by the odd random passer by outside the offee. Now I can embarass myself on a global scale! Power to the drinker!

Good luck me bredrins and always Put It In Cider!!!

Mo Drunkeness

2007-05-07T01:06:00.000Z

Been up for over 36 hours so far and I is well wasted. Had a familly doo so got the night off work. Downed a shed load of booze, got home and ofcourse had to play some poker.

Put £10 into BluSq. Played a $10 freezout but admit I did play like a total donk and busted in 244th.

Had $8.46 left so put it into 10c/20c. Took down a $15 pot with KK in sb after 5x80c raises so jammed. All fold except QQ. Ace hit on the river and I know some of dem was gutted they never called. Not long after that I reraised a reraise to $1.25 with 910s. Dude with AA flat called, silly boy. I flopped a str8 and jammed. 2 callers with AA and AJ. They didnt hit and I took down a $39.90 pot. Nice. Now a win a few more hands after getting some insults and I'm on $46.50

My aim is to leave when I hit $50.

Missed a few draws and was down to $29 ish. Then I must have totally lost it *(once again).

Got 7s5s and raise to $1. One caller who has me covered. Flop A53 2spades. He raises to $2 and I decide my draw (roughly 50% chance of hitting I reckoned drunkenly). Too drunk to count so jam. He has AK and I dont hit anything and Monk Off the lot. Stupid stupid play I know but I is well wankered and thats the way I roll. If I had hit I would have had enough to leave with comfortably but now I'm considering putting another tenner in. Not sure tho coz I blew a lot down the pub and have a massive hangover and cider is running low.

Might post post later.

Put It In Cyder!!!!!

Post Post

BOOOO! realized I had no food so kept playin. Now realized I is well too wasted to be playin drafts let alone poker and I av run out of Cyder. Propper gutted right know. Was £10 up but is now £20 down. Bugger! Might have to change address so I dont get banged up for council tax evasion. Sheeeeeeeeet!

Good luck folks. Keep It In Cyder If U Can

What a bootiful day (plus Post Post) (plus Post Post Post)

2007-05-04T07:51:00.000Z

(tune of the day: I know I've played this b4 but I have to make it tune of the day again coz I'm listening to it on repeat on media player. Cant get enuff of Automatic Preditor. Had an email asking me when the UK Teknival is. As always, dont know when, dont know where, phone the partyline on the night for directions.)
.

Poker: The Monk is back (just). Managed to get £10 into Crypto. Been drinking all night and busted £20 down the pub. Ouch! Met 2 really fit girls tho and got a numba. Nice!
Had a call from my mate Ness lastnight as well. Fkn wkd! Met this girl at a rave in Hungary last summer. I was standing on a bail of hay totally off my tits, telling all these Hungarian dudes how life is all about gabba and the south west side. AIII!
Anyway this wkd gal stepped up and said "yeah I fkn love Gabba and come from the South West Side" She has dreadlocks and I fell in love immediately! Anyway this kool dreadlock gal has been travelling the world for the whole time since I last seen her. Got a phone call lastnight and she is in Newquay and is coming to see me on Tuesday. WAHOO!!!! Cant wait to see her again. Dont care if I go broke coz Ness is comin up to see me. lol
Played 2x£2 multis's so far. Made final table on one but busted out 6th. In one atm but totally crippled coz some prick could'nt fold AK on a J high flush board. Busted down to 135 chips with 86o.
Wish me luck and Put It In Cyder!!!!
.

Post Post

Busted the whole shebang on dem damn multis. Put another £10 into Crypto and I is playin cash now. Forgot do mention, played a dude called Del who rinced my stack in the last one, but he had a pic of a bottle of beer and a bag of weed. Nufff Ruspec. Also. Last night me and my mate Phill went down the pub with fkall money, he put £3 into the cash rincer and hit the money streak to win £45. Yes Yes. We got f##ked up last night!

Post Post Post

F#'k me! Just lost everything in a second. Flopped a str8 and got reraised by some dude who flopped a set. I jammed coz there was 2 suits on the flop. He called and turned a full house. Muther fucker!!! Proppa fucked now~! Son of a fucking CUNT!

I aint havin this fuckin shit! Next 10 bucks is goin right back in now to the same table/ fuckit!!!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! (sober edit)

2007-05-03T03:21:00.000Z

Busted all my rakeback on crytpo. Was running real good for a while. Decided to buyin to multis but play cash at the same time to cover the cost. It worked for about 3 hours. Made the final table on a small multi for a bust out in 9th. Kept playing cash and got dicked! Lost de whole shebang. Then played wot I had on Betfair. More than covered my losses. Got my stack up to $75 but busted the flaming lot like a Donk. It took a few hands to do it. Me set of Js got disappointingly beaten by a flush for $40. my set of 2s got unfortunately bettered by a set of Ks for $20. Won some then, Busted $20 chasing a str8.
F##k### ### I busted the whole ##### lot on some bull s##t! (Blast what a damn shame. )Why didn't I leave when I was on $75? F####ing p####d off and have nothing left now so if u dont hear from me for a while its coz I'm totallly broke. Son of a C#nt! Cant f####ing believe it! B#####ks! (It seems I was quite annoyed at this point)
I really need to find a woman now! Something to help pass the time till I can back on the tables. Maybe I could pretend I dont play poker and keep a bit of sex on tap? (Its quite possible I popped off to a porn site and had one off the wrist here. I was very drunk at the time of post. And here's me thinking it was toothpaste)

Good luck to you all anyway. Hope you do better than me.

Hard Slog

2007-05-02T21:20:00.000Z

( tune of the day: cant remember the name. Some yankie stuff. Aint herd anything about this years Teknival yet. Have booked the weekend off work already so it probably wont be happening this year. lol.)

Searching my brain for more poker money lastnight and remembered I had £10 in my paypal acc. Betfair take paypay so I wacked it in. Sat down with the whole Shamo on a cash game. It was around midnight and I had already polished off 4.5 litres of the good stuff.

Got my stack up to $45 when I flopped the nut flush. Checked it down to the river where this guy made his one card K high flush and reraised me allin. Silly boy. $20 pot.

Lost nearly everything an hour later on this hand: Dealt AA in BB. Gets raised to $1.25, I call hoping to set a trap. Flop 96A. Rainbow. Lovely. I check. He makes it $3. I wait and call. Turn 9. Ideal! Check. He bets $3. I raise to $6. He waits and calls. River 5h putting 3 hearts on the board. I'm hoping he was sucking on a backdoor flush (mistake) and bet $6, he makes it $12, wahoo I'm in. I jam he calls, and flips over fucking quad 9s! Mutherfucker!

That left me with $3.50. I sat at that same table with all the money I have in the world for 5 long hours just to get my stack back to $16.90. Jesus Christ that was no fun at all! At least I controlled my Drunken tilt tho. Soon as I get enough money I've gotta start multi tabling else I'll go crazy staring at this shit! Fold Fold Fold. It sucks when you're card dead. Went to bed 9am down but not out.

Put It In Cyder!!!

Wahey! Its May!!! (plus Post Post)

2007-05-01T06:47:00.000Z

( Happy SummerTime Everyone! tune of the day: some crazy gabba stuff we listen to at these parties [click the empty box to hear it] The pics are from last years UK Teknival at Davidstowe, which I am asbolutely gutted to have missed out on :( Got several text messages Saturday afternoon giving me directions to the teknival from London, where I used to live. I checked it out and Jesus Christ its only 9 miles down the road from me in Cornwall. Usually its in Wales, Scotland or some stupid layby in the middle of nowhere. Trouble is I've gotta work that night and its a double pay bank holiday weekend and I really needed the cash. So I decided I'd wait till the evening and phone my mates to see if its been shut down by the feds. If not, I'm calling in sick for the whole weekend, loading up with Cyder and getting my ass out there.

I foned 10 different mates who were likely to be there and none of them answered. I decided it was a busto and went to work. Little did I know that they were all standing by the speakers and this party was going off!

Got to work and told my boss that he'd better be damn happy that I showed up coz my mates were doing a wicked party that night. He said "Yeah Yeah whatever" and laughed. Later that night he came down to the factory floor and asked me if that party my mates were doing was the massive illegal rave at Davidstowe. I said, er, not sure but I know they've got a lot of friends. He said all the police from Devon and Cornwall had been drafted in to shut it down and because our factory was the only place open or big enough, they were using our canteen as a base. OMFG! Talk about rubbing my face in it! On my lunch break I heard some fed boasting about how they were gonna bust these ravers and shut it down later. Anyway, by the time they got there, 3000 people had showed up, and all they could do was block off the roads to stop more arriving. HA HA!
My mates said the party was asbolutely wicked. Unfortunately the ol'bill had quite a lot of success on this one. They managed to stop a lot of trucks coming out of the party and confiscated a lot of equipment. Ouch! That must hurt more than my poker.

The small pic is of my mate Punk Cath havin it dun by the speakers. Nuff Respec! Not sure what they're tryna do in the middle pic but I is pritty sure they're not gonna knock that rig down. lol The girl with the pink dreds later told me that she was very dissapointed that her dog walk had been spoilt by nasty people with big speakers)

Poker: That play I made yesterday with the Qs was sooo gay. I had just made a note on someone for not laying down pocket Qs. Lets never speak of this again.

Havent got my rake thro yet on Crypto. Hence the amount of time spent on this post. Pretty gutted bout dat. Was looking forward to some poker this morning. It usually comes on the 1st but can take till the 6th. Might have to go and do some busking with my dij. lol.

Gonna see if I get it after 9am. Till then I'll be reading some blogs. Plan3t Gong is one I'm reading next. Reallized that was where I found the discussion on cash vs tournies debate. Its a sound blog. Poker blog that makes you think. And it does too. If you havent read it yet and want to be good at poker, read everything this man has to say.

Also, massive biggup to Kenn (link on right) for cashing $9k last month. Yes Yes!

Anyway I'm gonna try work out how to screw some more money out of the bank so I can poke. If not it'll be Wednessday night b4 I can play (payday). Only 24ish hours. Not so bad.

Good luck at the tables folks

Put It In Cyder!!!

Post Post

My rakeback hasn't come thro yet but thats ok coz it will be all I have the play with for the week. Had some good news from them tho. I'll be getting 40% rakeback in May on Interpoker plus they're still doing the $1000 reload bonus (not that I'll ever have that much money to put in. Will probly go for the $20). In fact I think Interpoker might be better than Will Hill now.

The bloodclaat bank still hasn't given me back the £325 quid they stole from me when my rent was double paid. Its been over a month now and they just keep saying its being dealt with. The Bastards admitted it was their fault and I wouldnt be fined but I just got a letter saying I'm being fined £25 next week. Slags! Have to sort this out else I'll get a fine for my fine! These bumboclaats seriously dont want to mess with me. I owe them over £18k (debts acrued thro being a drunken student and not from poker). I can easilly go bancrupt now and they wont get a penny. Plus I'll have a lot more money each month. It just means I'll have to "give" my pc and my sound system to my mate so I can play poker round his house. No problemo!

When I was on the squat scene in London I had mates who had no bank acc. coz they did a runner when they ran up a £1k debt. I always thought this was rediculus. A grand? I always said if I was gonna screw my bank it would be for every penny I could get. Well boys, it looks like I might be about to achieve my ambition. Gonna try to sort this out coz it would be nice to get a mortgage on a caravan in Pikeyville some day. lol.

Back on the poker front. Had a call from my mate Al in the states today. He's from Britain but lives in upstate NewYork and loves his poker. His ISP has barred him from all poker sites, which sucks. So he's started hooking up with underground live games. Just like in rounders. I'm tryna get him to start a blog coz he's got some amazing stories. He said he went to a really dodgy area in the south Bronx on Saturday for a game. He lost around $200 I think but he usually cleans em out. What got me as a really good idea was the way it was structured. Its just based in some dudes building or flat but they do it like a casino. The house takes a rake but instead of keeping it for themselves its kept in a beer and pizza fund. He said they had a dustbin full of ice and beer to help yourself, and all the pizza you could eat. And they paid for his cab home. Nice! Start a blog dude coz some of your tales need to be heard.

Maybe this could be a plan for the Holsworthy crew eh Romper? Bag of chips from the house rake? lol

Why Lie

2007-04-30T07:28:00.000Z

(tune of the day is by DJ Spectrum. Its called "Dont Fuk". Got this one on vynl. Nice little relaxing numba. And I need it right now)

Didn't think I was gonna be able to play today but realised I still had $3.55 in Crypto. Must have left it coz it were'nt enough to play cash. Stuck it into a £1 Sng and won it for £5. I know I'm good at Sng's but am totally hooked on cash atm. Especially with it being the last day of the month for rakeback. Sat down with my fortune of $10 against 5 other people, and 3 of them were multi tabling. I've usually got an edge against these dudes at these stakes (15c/25c). Easy to knock the multi players off the pot, grinding at the blinds (its sad I know).

So this dude who I have notes on as "drunk to much" (single tabler, seems a bit like me), keeps rasing 5bbs just like I do when I'm hammered. I called him down with 10s and he put me allin on a K high board. Had to call and doubled up. He had A8 I think.

Lost it straight back to him on next hand when my 9s were no good on a 8 high flop and he rivered a J. Not sure if I started to tilt then. Was contemplating the meaning of tilt. Someone asked BlueScouse what he thought tilt meant and he had a very good answer. In my opinion its when you shout "Mother F*#ker!" at the screen and cant calm down afterwards.

I did calm down tho and felt the need for a big raise utg with QQ. I was trying to play it safe (or so I thought. Turned it into 75o) coz I was enjoying the game and dont like Qs much (40c would have done me fine). Got one caller. Flop 33A. 2 clubs (I have one). Bet $1, flat called. Turn K clubs. Check Check. River 5 clubs. Giving me the nut flush. I jam allin coz he has me wey covered and I hope he thinks I'm bluffing. He calls with A3o. Son of a C*#NT!!! Totally wiped me out. Spose he could have had AA tho and that would've been my bad.

Oh well. Get my rackybacky tomoz. It aint as much as I thought coz I didnt double it but its still enough to play. And I'm off for me four day weekend (love my job right now), have my rent paid, and got me weeks wages to burn!!! The stakes are goin up pritty soon!

Put It In Cider!!!!

Away With The Pixies

2007-04-29T06:07:00.000Z

(tune of the day by FilthyDirtyBitch, called Hue you fink. A nice little junglist, drumbase rinceout. Bit experimental. Enjoy)

I really lost it this time. Went on an alldayer on Friday. Downed over 6 litres of the good stuff and passed out round a mates house. They woke me up coz we were sposed to be going clubbing, but as I didnt have any money I thought it would be a better idea to go home and play some poker. Good call Monk! You twat!

Managed to rince out my whole stack and didnt even go near $1/$2. $25 buyin on 10c/20c and made it up to $45. Dont know what I was thinking but I decided to announce that I was allin on the next hand. This dude said he would call, but he lied. Anyway I had 77 luckilly and jammed it. Got called by AA who had me covered. I managed to hit a 7 and took down a sick $90 pot. Still downing the cider and theres no way I'm stopping here. Lost $30 to the same dude in a similar fashion when my 99 got beat by his 10s. Really playing mickey mouse poker now.

Ended up donking off the rest of my stack on hands I cant even remember. Had to reload $25. Was so drunk by now that I'm having trouble clicking the buttons. This dude went allin with top pair A kicker on the flop and I accidently clicked call instead of fold and caught runner runner str8. Lovely.

Anyway there was not much real poker to talk bout really. Basically I was away with the pixies and spent 5 hours donking off my stack. Gutted in the morning. Woke up for work and had one of thee worst hangovers ever. No breakfast just vomitus, and staggered to work with a serious case of the shakes.(at least I didnt call in sick like my mate did, so kinda made my money back in a retrospective sense). Just got back home now after a very hard night and was amazed to find 2 pints of Cyder in the fridge. Oh man that tastes sweet! Offee still not open for an hour. Dont think I have any money left now anyway. If do its going into BluSq for some desperado rince out business. Thank god for rakeback. Get my rakeback on Tuesday so that will put me str8 back in the driving seat. Yes Yes!

Put It In Cyder!!!

Read it and weep

2007-04-27T05:09:00.000Z

Yeah I put that desperate £10 into BluSq and guess what? After 6 litres of very strong Cyder, I totally rinced those bitches. Started with $19 odd. And ended up with $58.86. Yes Yes. Didnt hit my target of $80 to break even but sod it, this will do. Had to stop playing when I finished my 2nd 3 litre bottle of 7.5% coz I dont know what to do when I aint got no booze. Anyway I is well wasted atm and only $20 down for the day now. which is a lot better than the last post. Just wish I could get my money out quicker than 3 days coz the electric is running out soon. Who cares about that anyway? One for the ~DrunkenMonk this time I think. I was well down and gutted. It took me nearly 4 hours to get some money back but I did it. Drunk as a skunk. Nearly trippled up what I put in so its all good. Might have to have one off the wrist now. 2HandShandy f'king smacked it!#

Put It In Cyder!!!

Post Post

Forgot to mention a totally sick hand which was played in true DrunkenMonk stlye. I had just anounced to the table that I was only playing these micro stakes coz I had just busted $200 playing $1/$2 and was pissed out of my head (one of the sly Monk tricks). And I was gonna take out all the filthy fishes. Got caught at it several times with some rediculus preflop raises and this dude was slagging me off. Cant remember the exact banter but I pulled him up on some really bad plays he made, and cussed him to the ground. Its not long before I get 45o utg and raise to $1.25 (10c/20c table). All fold down to him in BB. He flat calls. Flop J74 rainbow. He checks. I bet $2. He calls. Turn K. He bets $2, I raise to $4, he calls. River is another K. He bets $5. I dont think he's got it. He's just pissed off with some of the shit I'm comming out with. So I reraise to $10 to knock him off the pot. He flat calls me! to show AQo and I take down a bumpa $35 pot with 45o. OMFG! The DrunkenMonk Staggers On!

Pissed Off With This Shit!!!!

2007-04-27T00:42:00.000Z

Had enough of this shit now. £30 down and it was soul destroying how I lost it. Bad Beat after Bad Beat but I was determined not to go on drunken tilt like I usually do. Amasingly I didn't and kept well diciplined but Jesus Christ, did I get done over? I got totally f#*'ed!!!!

I'm having touble to write this coz I'm so pissed off. Ffs!

This has gotta be quick. I really couldnt afford to lose that so I might stick some more in out of pure outrageous desperation.

A9 flop 496 ra ra ra turn 9. Allin. River K. He has 44. Ok that was not a bad beat but it took my whole £10 out of Crypto.

Went to BluSq coz if I win I can get my money out quicker. £10. AA busted allin on a flop J29. By runner runner srtaight for my whole stack.

Reload £10 and get done by some bitch on a $40 stack. Got KK utfg and raise to 5 times the BB which is unusualy aggressive(and stupid with a hand like that) for me. Get called by this bitch. Flop is J high with 2 diamonds so I jam. Bitch calls me with A2 diamonds and hits her diamond,.

Bloodclaat!!!

Never been this mad at poker in my life. I've messed it up propper this time. That money was for food and electricity. If you dont hear from me for a while its coz I'm sitting in the dark.

Gonna put another £10 back into BluSq coz I aint havin this shit!

Splat

2007-04-26T08:38:00.000Z

(Tune of the day: Ely Muff: Blair Bitch Project.Wicked Jungle Gabba rince-out. The pic is of a place I stayed a couple years back in Florida. It was actually a hostel behind the two towers but we used to blag our way in to their swimimg pool. It helps to be British, they believe anything. This place was residence to the likes of Oprah Winfrey and Tommy Hill Figure. Even managed to get a free courtesy car to the airport. Touch. Man that was a sick holiday. Got totally wasted evey day for 3 months. Except one day when I think I might have had alcohol poisoning. Only lasted a day tho. Really do miss eating steak every day. I dream about it.)

Bloodclaat! Rinced out me whole roll. Good job Romper got me to take out £20. You were right mate I busted the lot. Went up and down like mad on cash. It payed for a couple £2 multis but I didn't do to well in them. This usually means I'm in the mind set to play cash. Must admit tho it was a mistake playing at all yesterday coz I had earlier told a mate I wasn't in the mode for poker. That soon changed after 3 litres of Cider. Managed to get my stack from $20 to $45. Then I lost a $40 pot with top two pair. I jam and get call by a bumboclaat straight draw who connects on the river. Son of a chi-chi man!

I sort of lost it after that. Was way too drunk and didnt have the patience to wait for good cards. Ended up reloading and busting that too. Oh well. Put in £10 took out £20 so its not all bad. Today is another day.

Put It In Cyder!!!

Romper

2007-04-24T16:18:00.000Z

Right this post is dedicated to da man like Romper who apparently reads this shit every day and has not listened to any of my "tune of the day"s. Fair enough he's a poker head and just wants to laugh at the bad beat rants, but this dude is also a gabba head like me! My first attempt at multi media went really bad trying to upload utube stuff, which didnt work 2nd time round, so I gave up on that and just do "tune of the day". To hear the "tune of the day" u have to click or double click the little square with no picture in it (I dont do them every day so f~*k off!). It might take a little while to load but dont worry there's no viruses coz its my mates website, they are trying to sell their seemingly unusual vynl. Wot happens next is u get redirected to their mp3 player. Then u can hear the tune and u have to open another, seperate internet window to come back to my blog and the tune will still be playing. OK I can see a reason why even my best friends havn't even heard my "tune of the day" yet. I have some major technospasticalities which have not been ironed out yet. F#*k it dey work in my phones!

No need for Jamaican Patios today coz I totally rinced out. (So Far). Gave up on the idea of multi tabling coz that was a shit idea. Put all $20 on 15c/25c 10 seater, full. Had to wait half hour to get in and was pritty sober so clocked the spankers.(6:30am on crypto). Waited the whole round for my blind and developed a solid tight table image after that. Won some nice pots then I got these:

Monk on A4s (clubs) BB min raised from late, fold to me.(very tight table) . I'm on $27 ish. I raise to $1. Dude calls. Flop AQ4 two spades. Bit worried bout de flush draw so make it $3. He calls. Turn Kd. chek chek.(he must have thought he would win here) River is the ace of spades. I bet $1 hoping he has the nut flush. He reraised me to $5 and I jam allin. He calls for his $17.50 showing KJ spades. Lovely

Next big one was a lovely flop the nut flush. A9 and get it. Fold to the river and some dude thinks his pair Js is good enough to go allin. Poetry. $19.50 pot on that one.

Anyway got it up to $65 and was gettin very drunk. Blew a load chasing 33 and I knew he had aces. Bloodclaat play. Then blew 20 jancrow dollas with an allin bluff on a J high board when he had QQ. Knew he had me beat too but couldnt resist. Took me nearly 2 hours to get it back up to a respectable level, where I cashed my bumpa $20 bonus and hit $95 ish.

Den dat slag named Romper showed up. Played lots of live games with him round his house, just for fun. Its not about the money its about being the superior player with friends games. I've always come back a better poker player on the net afterwoulds as well. So I played him heads up $3/$6. and lost about $40. Seriously? Nah its kool. I owe him dat for de last one.
You're still a slag tho Romper and you know I'll beat you hu anytime!!!!!

$45 up for the day!

Back for some more drunkenpoker now

Put It In Cyder!!!

I is gon ride da beenie!

2007-04-24T05:41:00.000Z

It has been brought to my attention that gratuitous use of "bad langugage" as deemed by the Oxford English Dictionary may result in termination of my blog. Knowing full well that I am about to embark on a long, hard, alcohol fuelled week of poker which will in no doubt result in many drunken bad beat rants. I have decided as of today that all my drunken expletives shall be translated into Jamaican Patios henceforth drawing from my most enjoyable squating experieces around London.

But a wha di rass? Bumboclaat! Dutty eediat fassyholes. Fyah fi yu! Guh labbajuice yu gal! Jinnal licky-licky pussyclaat. Nah ramp wid mi! Gunkona.

With this in mind I've decided to put $20 into Crpyto. Still havent made my bonus yet and get 40% rake back if I can double my rake in the next few days. How hard can that be?

Gonna multi table cash, 4 tables with $5 on each. Hopefully this will stop my drunken moves getting out of hand. At least I'll probably get too confused to play weak hand. Amitiville check fold city here I come!

South West Side AIII!

Heres how it is

2007-04-23T06:48:00.000Z

Been off the booze for well over 72 hours now and I think that is wey long enuff! I reallize I was crying into my posts a bit over the last week and have edited some of the rude words (mainly in case my Mum finds out about it and reads it. She would be so worried if she thought I had actually been "f*#'*d in the ass!"). Also I think it was the level of alcohol I was consuming that messed me up a bit (good weather and all. Havent mentioned the Polish bird sucking my finger yet but maybe will in a later post.)

I know I do play some really good poker when I'm drunk and can hold it down. Last week was crazy tho. Was up for 48hours in one sesh, purely fuelled by alcohol. I think it's the toxic buildup in the system which causes one's heart to shut down, thus triggering adrenaline, which wakes one up a bit. wot wot. (you havent drunk yourself sober coz you're totally off your tits mate!)

Anyway I've been looking at my play. I did have some very bad luck but this was undoughtedly maximized by my aggressive drunken stlye at the table. I've been deliberatley winding players up, to go allin on the flop tourny style with a good hand, making it a coin flip in most instances. e.g. Look at the hand I raised to $8 in the dark. I had been at it for ages and was willing to sacrifice this one just to hammer it home I was at it, then double up when I get it. (Even this was mad. $8 is nearly an hours wages for me). So I cant be too suprised when my AJo on a AJd9d flop, push allin, gets called by 10d9d. Who has double my stack. He probably just wanted me off the table at anyway. Why did I risk my whole stack too?

Oh well, some lessons learnened I think. Mainly, if I'm gonna play like a maniac, do it at a level my b/r can justify and not clean out everything on one hand.

Deffinetly gonna start slammin the tourneys this week. Loads of fun and loads of money. Bring it!

And Never Forget To Put It In Cider!!!

Bit Much

2007-04-22T04:42:00.000Z

(Tune of the day by Tantrum: Very Cheap.)

OMG! Some psycho has thrown all my booze down the sink and the offee aint open for 5hours! Noooooooo!!!!!!!

Cold Turkey

2007-04-21T16:59:00.000Z

Jesus its time for work again tonight. Been felling really rough today, so bad I couldn't sleep. I've been on the piss for 10 days solid now and its starting to take its toll. A kind of self inflicted personal hell. Not least with the poker. Worked out I'm £60 down for the week. Did have some bad beats but I think my main losses came from moronic drunken play. Not goin to London now coz I couldn't get time off work and the game is on Sunday. At least I can write off my losses against this.

Not sure when I'll be playing again, but I have to stop drinking if I want to stay alive. Lost a good friend to liver failure a couple years back. He was the same age as me and wasnt drinking a lot more than I am now. So I'm gonna do it the sick boy method. I know I'm gonna be clucking for a drink when I finish work so I've poored 2litres down the drain. This is gonna be hard but its something I've got to do. Just hope I can make it thrugh the first week.

UnBelievable!

2007-04-20T22:32:00.000Z

(pic is from a hench Headfuk party in London a few years back. AVITT!!!!)(Tune of the day: Once again Automatic Preditor by Ely Muff. Cant get enough of this tune.)

ffs! Played 50c/$1 on BluSq. Started with $20 and got it up to $75. Got dealt 66 in mid and raised it to $2 BB flat calls. Flop 67K. 2 hearts. He's on a $125 stack and I aint messing around so jam the wedge. He calls with KK. Son of a ****! Put another $20 back into the same table and got it up to $47.50 then busted the whole bloody lot QQ vs AJ on a 10,2,5 rainbow flop. Turn is a Ace and river is a rag. Bad luck streak is getting worse atm. Have $8.45 left and I'm gonna play some boom or bust now.

Asbolutely Wasted!!!

2007-04-20T06:19:00.000Z

(This one was a fat crossbones party. Jim Bones you are a legend and you know it!!!)

Right so hows the poker? Got asbolutely annialated on 50c/$1 after putting £20 into BluSq. Had to move down to 25c/50c and got buggered there too, Had $9.25 left and played a 6 seater 10c./20c jobbie. Asbolutely rinced those bitches! Got my stack up to $63.55. Booyakasha!

Its 7:30am so time for bed now.

Painfully Sick

2007-04-20T04:46:00.000Z

It just gets worse! Played 50c/$1 with $20. Got my stack up to $75.80 and for some reason decided I was gonna raise my next hand to $8 in the dark. Turns out I had AJo, one caller. Flop AJ9 two diamonds. I jam and get called by god damn 109diamonds. No lie! He's on a $180 stack. Turn is a diamond and I get hung.

This Time Its Bad!!!

2007-04-20T02:22:00.000Z

Jesus Christ this is a bad one, God damn this blasphemy!!!!! Played a £2 multi on Crypto. Must admit this was amazing. My second hand in I jammed with a str8 on the turn. Got called by a better draw who connected on the river. This left me with only 10 chip. Auto allin next hand with AJo. Won, stack 100 chios. Next hand 88, allin. Won, stack 500. Next hand AQo aliin won, stack 1575. After that it was solid poker.lol Made the final table and busted in 6th for roughly £20 88 vs AQ. Ok fair enough. My mate Phil showed up again with another bottle of Cyder but this time I wasn't gonna wait till he passed out before I started hitting the tables. He dont know shite about poker so I was bringing some education. Yeah right! This is why you shouldn't play poker! Son of a ****!

Sat down with $50 on 50c/$1 crypto. Got my stack up to $125 with some solid Drunken poker. Took me nearly 3 hours and my mate was lovin it. Made him understand why I'm so hooked on this shite. Ran out of Cider so Phil went to get some more. Then this happened: AA utg. I raised to $5 coz I have a very loose table image. Fold down to BB who goes allin for $110. wtff? For ***** sake! Obviously I call. He's got 88. Flop 89K. Turn 10. River 10. Jesus Christ!

Spose it serves me right for developing a loose image. Could have got paid off big time tho. Anyway after that I totally lost it. Cant even remeber the hands I played or how much I lost but by the time my mate got back from ~Tescos neteller were refusing reloads coz I had maxed out the limit. Clucking bell! (hopefully this is not more than £40)

My mate got back and I stuck £20 into BluSq and played $1/$2 on a serious tilt. Got my stack up to $95. A6 clubs BB got raised to $10, one caller. I call. Flop A69 2 diamonds. I jam. Get called for a $210 pot by 99. Turn and river are jizz rags and I get done!

Stopped playing then and drank till I passed out. Its nearly 4am now and I'm not letting this one go. Gonna stick £20 into Blu and play $0.50/$1.

Stick That Bottle Down The Sink!

Oooo Bad Hangover!

2007-04-19T12:32:00.000Z

(Tune of the day: Newskool Retaliation by dj Enticer. Asbolutely Wicked tune tune m8. Cant get enough of your stuff. Punkass!

The pic is from a party I went to last summer. I was invited by my late, great friend Agnes aka Senga. Who now has her name graffitied on the wall in big letters at the end of my road. Dont think I did it but strangely I do have a matching can of spray paint. Who knows what I get up to at 3am?

Anyway she told me it was a big hippy festival in Hungary so naturally I flew out to meet her. Senga and her daughter Viv (another wicked rudegal) were gonna meet me in Budapest airport coz they knew their way around. Turns out their plane had to land in another airport on the other side of Hungary and they were gonna meet me at the festival. Not speaking one word of Hungarian and already quite drunk I head for the main bus station hoping somebody can point me in the right direction. I'm in a really long queue for the ticket office and havent said a word to anyone. Then the guy in the kiosk waves me over to jump the queue.??? Maybe he could smell the cider on my breath or hear the gabba from my headphones and wanted me out asap. He asks me if I'm English. I said "Yes". And then he asked if I was going to the festival in Ozora, I said yes and he pointed me over to a croud of other English people who were also goin there. Touch! We had to get 3 different busses to places I cant even pronounce. Never would have made it without those guys. One guy was from a squat I went to in Peckham. Small world.

When we finally got there Senga and Viv were waiting for me at the gates with my ticket. Viv managed to get it online for around £30 I think. Ruspec! Everyone else was paying over £60 at the gates. Anyway as I'm walking in a car drives past me with at least 20 6 foot ganja plants tied to the roof rack. Now I know I've come to the right place (even tho I dont smoke anymore, its gotta be fun here). Senga points out that it grows wild out here along with lots of other natural halluncinogenics. Paradice.

So now I'm in this so called hippy festival. Is this Glastonbury? Is it f*#k! Its a full on bangin rave that went on for 5 days! Didnt hear much gabba but had a wicked time. I'm deffinately taking a tent next time :-) Senga found me asleep in some grass, soaked in morning dew. She must have spent ages wrapping me up coz when I woke up I was cookooned in all her clothes.
And she was standing there laughing. God bless you Senga!)

Back to the poker. Last night was a total train wreck. Some of my worst play so far. Got woke up by a mate at about 9pm with a bottle of Cider. Had to drink him under the table before I could hit the tables. Really wish I had passed out now. Got on the 8.4% stuff. Downed roughly 6 litres.

Put £20 into Crypto. Played the $10 $1k gtd. At the same time Romper was in the $2k gtd. I watched his stack steadilly increase while mine dwindled into nothing. He got knocked out on a coinflip if I remember right. Unlucky m8. Least you cashed tho.

After that I went crazy on the cash. Busted the lot. Went to BluSq where I still had $50. Played 50c/$1. Got my stack up to $75 with some wrecless bluffing action. Then busted the lot with an allin bluff to get called by nut flush. Put another £20 in a cant remember wtf happened to that.

Acc. bal on Crypto $0.00

Acc. bal on BluSq $0.00

Weekly profit at least £-50. Ouch! Gotta tighten up a bit now. There's a saying. "It's better to have loved and lost". I played and got f#*ked so I spose its true.

Put It In Cyder!!!

No Stoppin

2007-04-18T10:01:00.000Z

Aint been able to stop playin since last post. Asbolutely wankered ryt now and having trouble typing. Been up for nearly 48 hours now and still downin Cider. Dont know why but I started playin cash on BluSq. Got my stack up to $54.17. The DrunkenMonk staggers on! Dont actually know if I'm up atm but I thnk I must be. Crazy drunken poker pays off when you're in the zone. Didn't get tilted and played like a King the whole time.
Put It In Cyder!!!

OMFG

2007-04-18T05:46:00.000Z

FFS Knew I shoulda left. Lost a load playing tourneys but made it all back on cash. Got my stack up to $52. Had a feeling I should leave now, but did I? Did I fuck! Fucking shit, bollocks fucking tit wank cunt.Was Allin on a flop AA10 with AK after a seriously big raise ($10 I think). I push, he calls with fucking 10 9o and turn 10 river 10 for a fucking $100 fucking pot. Mutha fucking shit fucking cunt! (spose he could have had 10 10 and that woulda been my bad anyway)

Post Post

Son of a mother fucking cunt!

Acc. bal. on Cryto $19.78

Acc. bal. on BluSq $18.89

Roughly $20 or £10 down from original weekly drunken load up. Thats fucking shit! Hours at work are going down and I really need to make some extra cash. Pardon the French, I'm sorry but I really am pissed off this time.

post post edit (2 hours later)

Calmed down a bit now but not gonna delete the bad lingo coz I might read this back in the future and savour the swings. To be honest its asbolutely amazing how I got my stack up to what I did. Started drinking and playing str8 after work to win some then busted £7.50 on a sat for the £12k gtd £50 buyin when a mate showed up with more booze and my play was a bit off. Ended up going round his house and getting wasted till the sun came up. Thats when I got back home and started playing the cash(no sleep for over 36 hours). Its amazing how well I did considering how sloughtered I was. One for the DrunkenMonk trillogy I think. btw I call myself the DrunkenMonk coz it was a name given to me by a very good friend of mine called Michelle who died a couple years back. Still love her to bits and miss her like mad. Just like my best friend, spiritual guru Agnes who died on Christmas day last year. I'll love her till the end of the earth. I'm sure they would be laughing if they could see how wasted I am right now. I am the DrunkenMonk! Mashup de place!

Put It In Cyder!!!

The Monk Get Drunk

2007-04-17T06:04:00.000Z

(cant get enough of the big rig pics. This was another Crossbones party in London a few years back. Asbolutely Avinit!!!)

(Tune of the day by the mighty dj Spectrum of the Headfuk crew. This ones a nice little jungle number called visions. Aint worked out how to make it play on me blog yet but if u click de box then open another window you can listen and read. A good skill for live games :-)

Ok here's how it goes so far (gotta blog this stuff to be able to work out if I'm up or down). Totally wasted at the mo. Finished work for the week and cracked open 3litre bottle of cider from the fridge. Put £10 into Crytpo yesterday and busted the lot. Put £10 in today. Played a £2 job and crashed. Played the £5 10am £400gtd hoping to see Romer there but he weren't so played well anyway but busted out in 34th, paid to 30. Put my last $6 (I think) into a cach game and made enough to play a £2 turbo plus some extra. Busted out of that one midway.

Had roughly $6 left again and put it all into cash. Had some good cards and managed to get my role up to $24. Then played another £2 job but this was 10 min blinds (my favourite). 100 runners and managed to finish 3rd for £24. Very nice. Fraid I cant really describe any hands coz I polished off my 3litres of 7.5% and moved on to the Latvian pear cider that a work m8 gave me. Its ok but Cider aint made from pears where I come from. Tastes good and gets U drunk tho. Not sure how much I'm up for the week atm but I know I am up so its all good!

Put It In Cyder!!!(not Latvian tho)

Post Post

Woh acc. bal on Crypto now up to $68.18 and still got $28.80 on BluSq. NICE!!!!

Suss Or Get Sussed?

2007-04-16T07:48:00.000Z

(Tune of the day: Something to do with Jerry Springer from Sp!tting V!triol. Its got some wicked samples) (The pic is from a wicked Crossbones party. Some of the boys gettin their rigs together. Not sure if it was this one, but at one party the pigs showed up and told us we had to leave the buliding coz the roof was about to collapse. Must admit I did wonder how they managed to get loads of pipes to spray water on us from the ceiling. I thought it was to enhance the atmosphere. lol. Anyway we stayed till the sun came up. Nice day it was too.)

Getting Drunk on work days is starting to payoff. Could only afford to put $5 into BluSq yesterday and got knocked out of the $3 when I went allin with KK on a J high flop, to get called out by Q9s on a flush draw who only just had me covered, and connected on the river. Thats $3s I spose.

Played some cash after that with the little I had left. Was getting a bit on the wasted side so played a tight 10 seater. Got really bored after an hour and started raising and showing with junk. Few hands later this really tight dude, who hadn' made any moves for ages was hu on a flop with me. I flopped a striaght draw but bet it like I had aces. He called me to the river where I made my str8. After my earlier display of donkedness I went allin. He called srt8 away to show two pair. Took down a $23 pot to put me well up for the day. Lovely start to the week.

Finally got some cash into Crypto just now. Just got knocked out of a £2, 47 seater. Too sick to even mention. If I tried I'd start spilling bile on the keyboard! Was in 4th place and blam! Bitchin f#*kin badbeat central! Sick Sick Sick!!!

So now I'm gonna start earning rakeback on drunken tilt in a cash game. lol. Still have 2litres of cider in the fridge and only one night of work left this week. Might be goin to London tomoro. Depends how hungover I am. Probly update this post b4 I go to bed.

Put It In Cider!!!

Post Post

Really cant be assed to play anymore today. Probably a good thing coz I'm wasted and have to go to work in 6 hours. Put nearly all the rest of my Crypto money into the £400 gtd £5 job. Turns out Romper was playing in it as well. Lost half my stack very quickly with QQ when a K high flop went down and got beat by K6. Romper is still in it atm. He aint got his im logged in so probably dont even know I was in that one. Ironically, when I got knocked out, he got moved to the exact same seat I was sitting in. Good Luck Romper!!! Rince those bitches!

Sometimes???

2007-04-13T05:29:00.000Z

Sometimes I really do wonder about how and why and what I do. How totally insane am I? I have been advised to stay away from cash tables by very good poker playing friends of mine . They have witnessed the crazy atrosities I have created. But do I listen? Do I f#*k!

I know I can play cash very well but it only lasts for a limited period of time. I'll double or even triple up my stack but then something happens to my brain that makes me bust the lot. That last time, I started with $20 and turned it into $40. It was all good and I was happy with my outcome but there was one thing that really twisted my brain so bad I stopped being able to play poker. I was in the BB and checked with 45o. Flop 442. This dude went allin after we all checked for $18.75. I should have called but I pussied out thinking he had A4. He showed his QQ. It took half an hour for tilt to properly kick in but I couldn't stop thinking about how bad my fold was. I had to get some more money out of this table. I started raising up to ten times the BB with nothing and was getting called every time. Thats how I lost everything. I could not deal with the fact that I got bluffed off a monster pot and I totally lost it. Now I have nothing left at all and it really hurts. I know this would never have happened playing mtts but I did make $20 on cash before I lost it. I've put £5 into BluSq but dont feel confident or sober enough to play with it yet. I'm so gutted. I started with $2, turned it into $95, and rinced the whole lot like a drunken twat. Shame of it.

Anyway had a nice chat with a nice girl today and I think she understands my crazy drunken ways. Who knows? Maybe I bring in the future.

Always Put It In Cyder!!!

Drunken Hell

2007-04-12T13:37:00.000Z

Just doubled $20 into $40 then busted the lot on tilt plus another $20 tilted as a mo fo. Acc. Bal down to $6.67 now. Messed it up propper but goin to stick the rest back into a lower stake cash game to try and regain something. Probably going busto soon. Wish me luck.

Friday Feelin

2007-04-12T10:43:00.000Z

Tune of the day. Quality Gabba from Ronin: "Pissing On The Gates Of Hell"

Feels like its Friday. Dont know why coz I got a fat hangover. Made the mistake of leaving my mates house to go home and play poker lastnight. I was well wasted and played very badly. Did a $5 rebuy but got nowhere. Blew loads on cash and now my acc. balance has busted down to $49.67. Ouch. Also, Woke up to find that I knocked my landline fone onto the floor and it had redialled a mates mobile. It was still connected when I woke up! Uh oh. This one could cost me a few pennies. Bancruptcy could still be in the picture. Will have to download some poker software at the library.

The London lives game is next week as long as my mate makes it over from the States. Should be fun. Been missing London and all its mess. Dont really feel up to much poker atm. Have 3litres of Cyder in the fridge so I'm sure that will change.

Put It In Cyder!

Staggerin Again

2007-04-11T06:21:00.000Z

Once again the DrunkMonk manages to donk off all of his chips on a stupid allin bluff!

Played a $2 rebuy $750 gtd. This time I doubled my magnificent make you think I'm a donk strategy by alowing myself 2 deliberate donk rebuys to gain a loose status. It worked again. Allin on 9xo. Rebuy. Allin on A3o. Rebuy. Allin on AA get 3 callers and tripple up. Now I'm playing hard but getting very drunk. 105 runners. Make it to the final table on a 70K stack and double up to a monster 140K. Well in front of everyone but well wasted so dont mess around waiting for people to go out so decide I'll knock them out myself. 77 raise up ra ra cant remember exactly what happened but it was a 6 high flop. 60k stack goes allin. I know he's got a better pair but call anyway. He shows 10 10 to prove my point and I'm knocked down to 3rd spot. Could have so easilly sat tight for more money but no. I push allin on the flop against 2nd place with a K high board and to be honest I cant even remember what I had but it deffinetely weren't a K. He calls with f#*king 99 and I'm out in 6th place for $37.50. Donktastic!

At least I cashed anyway. Very drunk right know, and I have slightly proved that I can play poker when I'm wasted. Got my acc. balance up to 90 something dollars so its all good. Really should have at least made 3rd tho. I could have folded to that with the stack I was on. Live and Learn.

For a change I'm not goin to blow lots of money on cash right now. I know I'm wasted and I'm gonna eat some food and watch some good day time tv till I pass out and sober up.

Put The Cyder In The Fridge!!!

Mo Monk Rags

2007-04-11T01:00:00.000Z

((same tune of the day as yesterday coz that tune is totally sick. Played a whole tournament listening to that tune flat out on repeat. Plus a couple others. I'm not that crazy! Really do miss those tunes tho. Those guys do some of the fattest squat parties in London. Storming big warehouses and abandoned industrial estates. Was at one party, a few years back, in some old printing factory. Gabba was avin it proppa. Then the owner turned up with about ten of his big mates. The factory had not been long closed and there was still printing machinery scattered about, with prints still inside. lol. Anyway there must have been at least 800 of us in the building at the time so there was f' all the owner could do about it, but he went straight up to the DJ anyway. By now its about 10 am and a beautiful summers day (sun was shining through the roof). The owner said he wouldn't call the police if we shut down, f#*ked off, and didnt nick anything. Due to the amount of people there the pigs wouldn't have been able to do a thing apart from random drug searches on the way out (or a major raid, its always a gamble). Headfuk tho, being the gentlemen they are, shut down the rig and we all politely left the building after having had an asbolutely wicked party. Just for you London!))

Back to the poker. Got back from the bank and they still haven't sorted it out. Had £5 to live on so I naturaly spent it on 3litres of Cyder and a pouch of baccy (I'd already drunk 2litres, hence the last blog rant). BluSq were doing another $2k rebuy but it was only a $1 job this time so I gave it a shot. 668 entrants.

Decided on a new stategy for this one. Right from the off there were some crazy allin psychos and I made a point of making fun of the bad beats. Got a few people really wound up and told them thats what I love about $1 rebuys. I then jammed with some Monk rags and got called and beaten as planned. Now I'm waiting for a hand to get paid off. Quite soon I get AQ and jam. Several callers and I catch the ace which held against junk. I'm now set up for the tourney. 6K I think. Now I'm playing solid poker. One of the guys I was winding up said I got lucky and I told him I was just good at poker. He's on a 3k stack and the allins are starting to calm down. We end up hu on a flop for a nice pot. I have top pair str8 draw and check raise. He calls. Turn completes my str8 and I jam. He calls with top pair A kicker. River a Monk rag and I take his 3K.

Manage to steadily increase my stack playing tight until the addon period. I'm well stacked and gear it up a bit. The blinds start creaping up and everyone is folding. I min raise with 10 10 and BB calls. He's on a 20k stack and I have him well covered. Flop 5K7 rainbow. He bets half of his stack. This tells me he doesn't have 2 pair and probably has a weak kicker. I gamble on catching my 10 and call. Turn A. He checks, I make a very dangerous jam and he folds. Lovely. He would be so sick if I showed but I've got a really strong table image by now after having some really good cards showed down.

Now I've gone past the 4litre mark and I think the flat out gabba in my ears twisted my brain a little (I'm like Hellmuth on drugs). I'm 17th out of the remaing 44 on 60K and I made possibly the worst conscious play I have done in the whole ten months I've been playing.

Blinds 1200/2400 and the DrunkMonk assumes an attack vector on the button. sb short stacked but not ready to push yet. bb has me covered by 200 chips. I'm dealt rags and min raise hoping for a call from bb to push him off on flop or turn.

He calls and its a K high flop 2 diamonds. He bets the pot. I call hoping for another diamond (not that I've got any). Flop, a low diamond and he checks. (this is where I messed up. should have took it on the turn as normal). I got gready and decided on a check turn allin reraise move on river. I check. River another low diamond. He makes a small bet and I jam allin representing the Ace. He considers for a bit and calls to show KdJs. Ouch! That play was so bad that someone actually said "I cant belive he just did that!" Had 92o I think. Playing in the dark anyway.

So I've busted out in 44th place out of 668 and take home a wopping $4.40.

After that I went a bit made on the cash tables, convined I could quickly make a drunken profit but it was not to be. My acc. balance is now down to $67.90. This is all the money I have in the world right now but I'm not going to cash it out. I'm not going to put anymore in either coz even when I get paid I need all the money for the London trip. Had a nice curry round the ol' Dears earlier and she had kindly put a 3litre bottle of Frosty Jacks in the fridge for me. God Bless Er! Picking daffodiles really does payoff! It's 3:30am and I'm well up for some poker now.

Put It In Cyder!

Tune of the Day

2007-04-10T06:06:00.000Z

(More from the great ely muff of the Headfuk crew . Ruspec! [click sq])

Absolutely sick, gutted, and really not in the spirit to play poker for the next ten minutes so droppin a blog. Played the 8:30 2K rebuy on BluSq. Started on a really mad allin table with lots of complaints from tight wods. Got my AQs busted. 1st rebuy. Then got my snowmen trampled on. 2nd and final rebuy. Dont even know why I did this one really coz I normally dont do even one rebuy and I've now bought in for $30 when its only paid to 20 for $20. Have to make 10th for $35 but I had my sights set on the $600 1st place.

Got dealt 75o 3 limpers, blinds 100/200 I think. Made the monumental decision to make a Gus Hanson raise to 800 (he probly would raise a bit more). 3 callers. Flop 379. I decide I'm ahead and jam the rest of my 3000 chips (its a double stack tourny). In true rebuy fashion they all call. They show JJ, QQ, and AA. So why the f*#k didnt I get an allin reraise preflop? Guess they all thought someone would do what I just did with jack sh't. Anyway, turn is a beautiful 5 and river is a Monk rag and I go 2nd with a 12k takedown. Nice!

Spose its karma that I got knocked out in the way I did. Managed to get my stack up to 30K. 31 players left and I have my mind set on playing tighter than a nun's flanjeita to make sure I get at least 20 bucks back.

Then I get 66 in mid and couldn't resist raising with the mark of the beast. Blinds still only 400/800. I make it 2400. 1 caller. Flop 776. I check. He goes allin for 60K. I call. Hes got K10! ffs! Turn 10, and river a bloodsucking, soul destroying, mutha f#*king 10! Jesus Christ. I busted out in 31st place. Bugger!

Anyway I've now run out of Cyder and fags, and my bank still hasent paid back the rent I was double charged for. They're open now so I'm gonna go down and give 'em f#*k!

Put It Where You Want Coz I'm Pissed Off!!!!!

Blinding

2007-04-09T09:00:00.000Z

Finished another hard nights slog at work and got home to find I forgot to buy any Cyder. Luckilly I had some baccy left today. Played the 7:30am $3 on BluSq again and managed to make the final table for the second time in a row. Started out as the 3rd dog but managed a couple of double ups before getting caught trying to steel the blinds with A8s. Ran into AQ busting out in 9th for $10.50.
Have to complain. It was really annoying when I disconnected for a few seconds and it took nearly 5 minutes to log back in. This happened twice and BluSq know its there fault. Havent had this on any other site yet. Touch wood. To make things worse, the second time I logged back in I had to wait for bloody site updates! This meant that when I finally did get back in, to the same table, I was playing with a different deck! How mad is that? And I dont like it either, its too bright and looks like its designed for kids. It made my eyes hurt and put me off my game.
.
Anyway enough moaning. I won a nice big bottle of Cyder for my efforts and thats what matters. Cant wait to get back into the 12hour sessions this week. Gonna keep my stakes low again and try to drink slightly weeker Cyder.

Oh yeah, played cash as well, 5c/10. Started with $2 and left with $14. Won a $7 pot when some guy went allin with 44 after a bad beat and ran into my aces. Nice!

$19.50 up for the day Wahoo!

. click the box for a sick ass tune. should work this time :)
And Always Put It In Cyder!!!

Happy Easter!

2007-04-08T10:03:00.000Z

Ah tis a joyus day indeed for Christ has arizen, and the DrunkenMonk has sobered up a bit.

First I gotta bigupp the man like Animal for winning the 100k on Mansion to pocket a cool £12,000 cash. Wow. Nuff Respect!

Also, a big welcome back to Bluescouse (88% concentration). Was and still is an absolutely amazing blog. If you havent read it yet you obviously dont like poker.

Had a little success as well today. Played the 7:30am $3 freezout on BluSq as soon as I finished work. Bit skint so could only afford one pint of Cyder and also ran out of fags half way through but I think this helped me focus a bit more. Ended up finishing 2nd out of 152 runners to cash $91.20. A big win for me atm. The fuuny thing was that the whole way through I thought 1st place was only $32. (something was wrong with BluSq info board).

Must admit I did have a couple seriously lucky hands. Blinds 75/150 on 4k stack. late pos. with Ac2c two limpers. I min raised for some reason and they called. Flop 729 two clubs. 1st man goes allin for 2k, next man calls allin for roughly 2k. I'm feelin hungry and decide to go for my draw and call. 1st guys got AQo??? Next guys got 75o ????? And I catch a set on the turn. Yes Yes.

After that I start playing really aggressively (mainly coz I'm out of fags and the shop is open). Get 910s blinds 200/400 and reraise an 800 bet from mid to 1600. This guy was playing really tight and I know if he doesn't go allin he aint got pocket Aces or Kings and I can take him on a low flop. He calls. Flop a miraclulus A99. He bets 800, I make it 3200 (hoping he has AK) and he went allin! to show AKo. Turn and river are Monk rags and I take down a 10k pot. Then someone said I was playing joke poker so the next hand when I get 99 I'm naturally allin. 3 people called allin and I catch another set!!! Oh yeah! Trip 9s twice in a row!

After that I went fairly card dead but was in 2nd place so was able to throw my weight around enough to cruise into the final table. Spent my time guessing hands, while not in play and I've discovered I'm suprisingly good when I'm sober. This is when my mate Romper starts watchin.

My stack was up and down till final 3 and I'm sitting pritty buggered on a 16k stack vs 60k and 80k. Got some really good tips from Romper. My short handed tourney game is my worst I think, but with the help from my mate I was making some serious aggressive moves and I managed to get my stack up to around 40k.

Continuing the pressure I decide to move allin againt a reraise from chip leader preflop with A4s. Not sure what I was thinking there really. He shows AQ, misses the lot, and I catch myself a nice little 4. Oh Yeah. Poker at its best.

Lots of good play after that, went leader with over 3/4 of the chips knocking gutted Mr.AQ out then it went a bit tits up. Ditched most of my chips in random beats. Got some serious cussin from Romper when I folded after making a 10k bet into a massive pot. He went allin and by now had me covered. I had him beat with middle pair on the flop but I let him catch runner runner set on turn and river 333. Should have jammed straight away. Lesson learned. Still really happy with a good days wages for playing poker. Bloody good fun too.

Bigup yaselves and Put It In Cyder!!!

Micro~Stakes Massive

2007-04-07T08:31:00.000Z

Absolutely skint at the mo, mainly due to the fact I need to save money to go to London in a week or two. Got the big lives game coming up but I'll probably just have enough to buy cyder. Hope that counts as colaterol. I'm actually a quite wasted at the mo. Had to work lastnight but had 2 litres of cyder when I got home. Had $2 left in Blu somehow too so sat at a micro 5c/10c and turned it into $14 in 15 minutes. There really are some donks at that level! Played a $3 freezout aswell but crashed out 34th (paid to 20th). Never really cut the mustard in that one but still happy to have got a better hourly rate in cash than I would at work. £4 up is a bottle of Cyder!

Live the Dream!!!!

Nice Headphones!

2007-04-05T04:27:00.000Z

Wahey! Just worked out how to upload film clips. Just saw a very funny Star Trek spoof called XXX Sex Trek with Captain Kock. They get sucked into a giant space minge. Its also shockingly hardcore so cant share it with you. So here's a good reason to fold A4o and stop listening to rnb with crap headphones.(aint quite got it sussed yet. You have to click on the empty space above :0)

BTW busted my £5 in 5minutes last night. Another good excuse for me to sit down with more money?

Ooops

2007-04-03T20:49:00.000Z

Quite gutted at the moment. Although I managed play for 7 hours with just $20. Didn't get anywhere in the 8k sat. so wont be playing that. Managed to make the final table in a £2 with 127 runners. One of my best pots was when I flat called at blinds 200/400 with 33. There were 5 other callers and flop comes 588. All check except the girl behind me. I bet 400, she calls, they fold. Turn an amazing 3. I bet 800. She goes allin but I have her covered. I call. She shows 78. River a rag for a 7k pot. This put me in 2nd out of 20 for ages but I made a few bad plays after taking down a 9k pot(cant remember what with) and ended up the dog on final table with just 4000 chips. Push with QQ utg. Blinds 600/1200. Called by K3s who hits the K. Oh well, won £5.

Put that straight into a £5 tourney and busted half way. ~Cant remember what with coz I'm passing the 3 litre mark. Played my 1st 6seat tripple shootout. #Not really sure how they work but I ended heads up with this dude who had 4 times my stack after knocking 3 people out in one hand. Managed to level our stacks up after about 20 mins but got knocked out when my two pair ran into a set. Played another £2 to win jack and now have nothing left of my rakeback. Thats fair enough, I've had some good fun over the last 7 hours plus lastnight. One table had me in absolute stiches, so bad I could hardly play a hand. This guy said something really nasty to a girl who was only trying to be nice. That was it, red rag to a bull! I was first to lead out with the insults (mainly about how gay he looked in his photo), then the whole table joined in. Wow! I've never seen such humiliating wit at a poker table. That alone was worth the £2 buyin, plus I managed to steel a few pots while no-one was looking. Still busted cashless tho.

Anyway whats really got me vexed is the fact that I havent played one cash game all day. Usually if I'm in tourney mode I'll hit the cash to pay for the next one but not today. So this in mind I'm gonna squeeze £5 into BluSq, sit down with the whole $10 and see what happens. Its ok coz I've still got another 4litres of Cyder in the fridge. Think I have a £10 bonus nearly cleared there too. Waheey!

Put it in Cyder!

Oh yeah got a new link on the right. A good friend of mine makes some wicked Urban Graffiti Jewelery (for boys and girls). This stuff is seriously wicked so check it out! Buy someone something decent for a change!

Easy Come Easy Go

2007-04-03T15:13:00.000Z

Thank God for rakeback. Had the night off work lastnight and luckily my rackback was in. Only $31 this month (thanks to a big rince out on BluSq) but still much better than playing freerolls. Played a few £2 mtts without cashing. One of them was due to tiscali going down for 2 hours. Glad I weren't playin with in a big one at the time.

My b/r started to dwindle so I sat down for a night of cash at the v.low 15c/25c. Played for a few good hours. Started with $15 and gradually worked it up to $50 then in true DrunkenMonk fasion I blew nearly all of it on one hand. Was expecting a couple mates round but they didnt show, and before I knew it I was cruisin past the 4litre mark (7.5% stuff). Didnt even think I was drunk!

Anyway I get A9spades in late. 2min raisers, I call. Blinds call. Flop JJ5 2spades. BB makes it $1 fold to me I call. I know he's got the J but want to catch my flush. Turn 8s. He checks. I dont think he's got the boat and push. He calls with his remaining $30 and shows J8. Oooops!

Down to $20 I amazingly called it a night so today I have something to play with. Gona be hitting the 8k sats, and low stakes tourney. Just glad not to be freerollin atm.

Over Killed

2007-04-01T05:05:00.000Z

Realized my bank details were being stored on the casino account I opened to mess around with roulette so I phoned them up to get my account closed. The guy couldn't understand why, even when I told him his site had too many nasty popups (which some people have reported). I was running late for work so I said sod it I'll apply to get it closed via email. Not thinking, I said I have a massive gambling problem and have been advised to close all my accounts (mistake!). I recieved a very long and compassionate email explaining where I can and should get help and as a result of my destructive addiction I have now been banned from using all their software for life! Ooops! I wouldn't mind the casino side of it but this also includes Pacific Poker. Looks like I'll have to use one of my other email, and bank accounts to get round that. Oh well, lesson learned.

Whats really jarred me this week is the fact that I cant play any poker at all this week (except freerolls) due to my bank's totall and utter incompetence. Had to change the date my rent goes out by 3days this month. My landlord must really love me now coz in their ultimate wizdom they paid him twice. This has put me £300 into the red. Obviously I phoned and complained, but they said although I shouldn't get any fines they can't do anything till Monday. So I'm sposed to work 12hour shifts on thin air? And whats this shouldn't get any fines rubbish? If I do I'm going straight down my branch and dialling 999 to report a robbery!

On a lighter note, managed to get into the 7am freeroll rebuy on Blue Sq. Cant believe how popular that is. Thought I might have competition entering so waited till the second registration opened, and clicked in. Within 2 minutes flat 1000 people had registered. Wow! It starts in 45 minutes and I'm actually really looking forward to it, due to the total lack of poker recently.

Oh yeah, busted out of the £2 last night in 55th. Flat called in mid pos with KJo. Lots of callers. Flop 56J rainbow. Check to me. I bet the pot and got one caller (button). With no preflop raising I know he doesn't have AJ and he's quite a loose player so I put him on a srt8 draw. Turn 2. I bet half the pot. He flat calls. Now I am a bit worried he's on two pair. River J. I make a suck bet hoping for a call. He pushes and I have him covered so I call (reckless? but pot commited imo). He shows J2. Ouch!

Was in the top 20 but now busted down to just 500 chips. I get KK and jam utg and get 3 callers. Dont know what they had but I get beat by A9o who hits the A on the river and thats it for me.

Really need to win one of these £2 jobbies. Thats half a weeks wages if I do. Dream Dream Dream but at least keepin the stakes down for a bit. Got in off a freeroll anyway. While teachin a mate how to play as well. Maybe I need to be a little less creative at the lower stakes. Text book poker all the way. Hopefully this Blu Sq freeroll will add some funds to the DrunenMonk's breadroll.

Keep it real!

Post Post

Just finished 44th out of 1000 players to win 50 cent WAHOO!!!!

Would have done a lot better but its way past my bed time and was only on an average stack so decided to jam with 95s in late after fold to me. Got called by chip leader who only had 33. Didnt spike and its time for tea. (out of cyder too).

Easin Back

2007-03-30T20:05:00.000Z

Been going a little mad on the cash games last couple weeks. Gona have to start setting loss limits. Maybe $100 a day and if I go up $200 and lose $100 I still call it a day. Hopefully this will start leaving me a profit.

Only got paid £427 yesterday. Was expecting £500. Turns out this was exactly how much I needed for rent and bills. Next week will be the same with credit card bills ect. So I am left totally pennyless atm and wont be able to play much poker at all. :-(

Just came 5th in a freeroll on crypto to win $5. Could have folded my 67o short stacked to go 4th but nevermind. Reinvested my new found wealth into a £2 mtt. Starts in a minute, if I cash in this one I can buy some more Cyder!!!

SouthWestSide AIII!

Law Of Averages

2007-03-26T05:54:00.000Z

Lookin back on my last post I think I was a bit reckless with my JJ. Should have known he had KK by the preflop reraise. Anyway thats pastpost. Since then, somehow I managed to drunkenly put £5 into Blu. Must have been playing like a madman. Dont remember a thing but managed to cashout £50. Nice!!!

Got a hot tip on a roulette system. Its had great reviews, people are saying it hasent failed in a whole week. My mate is currently $400 up from the system. I was ofcourse very sceptical when I heard this because after all roulette is just random number generation. Anyway the clever bit is the betting increments. It keeps continuation bets to the bare minimum on a 3 in 1 chance of winning. It worked for a whole hour for me and I went $50 wooopeee.

However there are some fundamental mathematical flaws in the system. The first being based on the "law of averages". A theory of probablity commonly misunderstood by gamblers. Its states that in the long run ie. infinity, a coin will flip heads 50% of the time. This is true. However this system says u should spin the wheel until one of 3, 1 in 3 places has not landed 7 times and bet on this. This is absolutely ridiculus. On the next spin there is still a 1 in 3 chance that any of the 3 will hit. I know in the long run it evens out but this could go on till the cows come home. This point was proven about an hour into play. My first bet was $1 offering me $2 if I win. Didnt win, 2nd bet $2. No wins 8th bet $20 still no win and so on until I made my final 11th bet of $67 which still didnt hit my 1 in 3 chance and totally cleared me out to the tune of $200. Would be feelin the sting right now but the beauty of it all is that 888.com Casino thing do a 100% $200 sign up bonus and the amazing thing is you can draw your money out straight away and play with their $200 until you've won enough to cash out. Kool eh? Its worth a shot for fun but dont use your real money coz u're gambling everthing just to cover your bets and make $2. Tho some people have reported playing 8 hours a day and making £1000 but this is probably 888 propagander. Who know?

A mate of mine always bets black on the roulette table then doubles the bet if he loses. Dont know how much he lost but he saw red land 16 times in a row. If you start with £1 and double it 16 times thats £16384. The maths dont add up, think I'll stick to the poker!

Bad To Worse!!!

2007-03-24T01:50:00.000Z

This time I dont think it can be put down to my drunkeness. Was playing really well (and pissed) on 25p/50p with £20. Made it up to £45. Then this happened. Fold to me with JJ on cutoff. I make it £1. bb raises to £3 I call. Flop JK8. Now I know I'm getting paid (well this is what I'm thinkin anyway). bb makes it £4. I raise to £8. He thinks about it for a while and goes allin (has me covered). I call str8 away and he shows KKK vs my JJJ. And dats me totally buggered. 5 mins later I'm in the $800. I get AKs and raise to 100. Get called by one dude. Flop AJ4. I raise to 200. He goes allin. I call. He shows JJ. And thats me done for the whole week. Maybe God is trying to tell me something? $150 down now with nothing to play with and back in poverty. Gonna have to do some more overtime now. Bollacks!!!

Not So Good Start

2007-03-24T00:02:00.000Z

Ok, so I finished my marathon 60 hour week with no poker and had to get down and play as soon as I got home. Was playin 50p/£1 with £40. Was lucky enuff to find a major donk on the table who doubled me up after 30 mins. Had AKo in bb, folds to him on cutoff and he makes it £4. Folds to me I call. Flop 3AJ rainbow. I make it £4. He calls. Turn 7. I am now shyting it thinking he's got AJ but I follow through with a £6 bet to test the water. He flat calls and I'm sensing dat he aint got de mustard so I recklessly push allin (he has me covered). He calls str8 away to show A6o turn a rag and I double up nicely. Cant believe dat one!
Played a lot of £10 mtts after dat and didnt cash. Ended up £35 down. Wondering why I cant play anymore I tryed doin a fry up and it went very wrong so I called it a day.
Ryt Back now. Lost a few bucks. $100 down atm. But the night is young. Just made a miracle call in a cash game $0.50/$1. Had QQ in mid, raised to $5, all fold to bb who makes it $10. I call. Flop 4K8. bb goes allin for $35 when I've got $24. I thought I'm buggered now but felt the angels were with me and call. He flips over JJ, river a rag to double me up nice!
Since den I lost dat. Have to reboot now. Wish me luck.

Oh yeah. Found out dat some of u slags who read this shitty blog havent clicked my link to Azimut yet. Seriously check this blog out. It will blow your mind! Found it through Animals blog(Dont know if u read my blog but if u do,thanks for the advice about rockin up when playin drunken loose. I made $5 into $65 on dat strategy earlier. Cheers Animal!). Another sterling blog that is too. Read it u Slags!!!

Kinda Ironic

2007-03-22T17:42:00.000Z

Got one last ten hour shift ahead of me then its back to the tables 6:30 am sharp. I'm lucky I've got a job that pays me a weeks wages for only working 3 nights. Because I play poker I always refuse to do overtime but since I rinced my wages I had to this week. Turns out that I will actually now be £50 better off than I would have been otherwise (£200 loss included). Also I've been forced to stop drinking for 7 days now and thats a yearly record! So maybe this cloud did have a silver lining. Anyway I'm looking forward to getting back in the game. Gonna sign up with Mansion and see what this 100K is all about. Hopefully I can pick up some site begginers luck.

Put it in Cyder!

Hard Labour

2007-03-20T12:02:00.000Z

Learning this one the hard way at the moment. Just finishished my normal shift at work but where I would normally be playing poker and getting drunk I am stone cold sober with not a card in sight. Havent drank or played poker for 4 days and nights now. This is a 6 month record for me. The last time I stopped playing poker this long was when I went on a solid 14 day bender! Maybe this cloud does have a silver lining coz I'm actually starting to miss the poker more than the Cyder. Still have to do another solid 30 hours at work this week to make up for last weeks drunken recklessness. Wont be forgetting this one in a hurry!

Hopefully I can come back to the game with a clear and refreshed state of mind. And possibly a slightly higher IQ through lack of Cyder. Really looking forward to going up London sides in April for a few good lives games and a chance to catch up with old friends. Shame SW trains have put their fairs up 30%. Need to get a car now. Greenpeace can suck my peace! Instead of complaining about the extra plane flights to London why dont they campaign againt the train fare hikes? It actually works out cheaper to go by plane now and that is rediculus! How much pollution comes from 750 people all driving to London seperatelly anyway? Nothing against Greenpeace but they need to look at the bigger picture.

Anyway lives games. Cant wait! I love the fact you can all be sitting down with £100 at risk and just stare each other in the face. I hope I'll find myself in the position where I have to ask the question: "How much is it to put you allin? How many chips do you have left?" I know it gonna it happen. :-)

Trials and Tribulations of a Psychopath

2007-03-18T06:37:00.000Z

Just a quick update on the fact that I cant play for quite a long time now. I must be completely off my bonce!!! Been reading through my hand histories to try and gain something from the aftermath of the 3am K cider sesh. There is nothing to learn basically. I was up to $400 from $100 playing fairly solid poker, then I saw the red mist. Ended up $400 down overall. Ouch! Played some shocking hands in some shocking ways. I'm embarresed to talk about it. Its no wonder I cant remember any of it. But this proves that I wasnt just drunk. My brain had totally unhinged: I didnt play one single hand on cryto so I wont get one penny of it in rakeback. Ooops! I think what I need to do is, try to actually stop playing when I cant see properly. :-)

God must still love me a little bit tho, coz I managed to get 2 or 3 extra nights at work this week(3 should cover it). Thank f*%'k for that! Was getting a little worried there. Still no poker for a while but at least the man in the offee still knows my name! Gotta start saving up for a coulple lives games up London sides in April. Should be a laugh (low stakes). Hopefully I'll get kicked out when I start getting too drunk. Need to take my mouth with me this time!

Train Wreck

2007-03-16T16:47:00.000Z

Wow I'm still aliver after the train wreck that is my poker game. Managed to make $25 into $45 lastnyt while explaining how to play poker to a friend of mine. On a roll I wanted to keep playing but he dragged my down the pub. We ended up doing a propper pub crawl in search of the fittest bar maids. I came up with the best one liner of the night. When she (the fittest one) appologiesed for keeping me waiting I said "Dont worry darling, I've waited all my life for a woman like you" Oh yeah! She couldnt have been to unimpressed coz she let us stay for a lockin. Wouldnt come back to mine tho. Next time eh.
So this late night drinking sesh has got me pritty wasted. Cant even remember what I played but I dont have anything left now. I'm such a drunken looser! Gonna be at least £100 short on my rent next week but manged to get a mothers day prezzy. Applied for another day job this arvo. Need to get this one or bancruptcy is imminent. Dont think they let you play online poker when that happens. Wont be able to play for about 2weeks now. Pritty gutted. Have about 1 pint of cider left which I need to ease the pain.
Good luck to everyone out there. Dont follow this staggering fool!

I Know I Need Help

2007-03-15T17:31:00.000Z

Saw a really big dead rabbit on the way home lastnyt and very nearly took it home with me for dinner. Havent skinned a rabbit for nearly ten years now but I can still remember the tastse of fresh rabbit stew.

IT IS BAD!!!

2007-03-15T17:01:00.000Z

This time its bad. It really bad!!! Was doing ok up untill I bought 8 cans of K cider (8.4%) at 3am. The trouble I have with that shit is I will drink 3 cans and be pissed but I think I'm sober and its just given me a boost. I am an alcoholic and I know this but I still believe it when I'm wasted.

Anyway. Was doing ok at the 3 can mark (after already drinking 3 litres of 5.4% cheap stuff). In a $10 rebuy and really enjoying it. Some good witty banter at the table as well. Only had to do 1 rebuy when my JJ busted vs 1010 who hit quads. Didnt addon coz dats not in my religion and 1st hand after addon period took down a 3k pot anyway. Starting to hit the 4th can and this is where it goes wrong. I busted out on the bubble with QQ vs 77. And then I must have gone mental. Should have bruises on my head really.

All I can remember is thinking I was a flaming hero playing $1/$2 and making $200 in a few hands. After that it went tis up. I've done the whole shebang! Only £11 left now for the week. Lucky the rent aint due for 7 days. Still got time for some busking.

Really sorry to anyone who was counting on seeing me this week. I have messed up and I know it! Sorry.

Still have $25 left in BluSq and f''%k me I'm gonna use it! Wish me luck boys and girls.

So Hard To Say Good Bye

2007-03-14T20:18:00.000Z

Found a new lease of life today, and that being poker Stars. Was 1p short of the min buyin on cryto with my neteller acc. but Stars is much more flexible now, for poverty stricken wasters like myself. :)

Decided to start banging out the $4 180 seaters coz the 1st place is for over £100. Unfortunately I've never won one of these b4 so it will be a challenge. Get paid at midnight so will probably start bangin the $20 jobs then, where I have had some success and got sucked out on a lot less.
Think I've plugged a major whole in my game. To quote the lyrics: " Every time I say good bye I die a little". I have noticed that even when I know I am about to make a bad move, I do it anyway just to see if I am right. eg bluffing a calling station on the river with a small bluff when u think he only holds middle pair. This has been proven time and time again to be a bad move and now I am gonna stop doing it.
Conversely, I just made it to 20th in a $4 but lost most of my chips re-re-raising preflop with QQ. 2 callers, flop 7JJ. Blinds 100/200. I make it 800 on a 4k stack. Next man goes allin on a 1500 stack, next man calls with 10k stack. Now if the 10k stack weren't involved I woulda called str8 away coz this man was seen to be an A high bluffer. But I thought Mr.10k was strong enough to be playin AJ. So I fold. Turns out the allin was bluffing with A5o lol. And to kick me in the balls Mr.10k had QQ as well. Bit gutted on that1. If it was a cash game I probably would have made a wreckless call but I had been in this one for a while now. That really dicked me and I didnt cash out. But I still think it was the sort of fold I should make in that position for deciplined poker. Although psychologically speaking in view of the post hand results I was pot committed. Usually if I dont come back from a big loss within 4/5 hands I'm out.

Went str8 into another $4 and busted str8 out with my 222set against a JJJ set. 5th hand I think. Ouch.
I'm back in one now and I see why I stopped playing these stakes. Its full of get lucky suckout wankers!
Boo just got knocked out with KQ on a Q56 board. Raised to 800, got put allin by 69o with nearlt all his chips, who get a 7 on turn, and 8 on the river. Thankfully someone made the remark that it was a "discusting style of play".

Major Pissed!

2007-03-14T03:27:00.000Z

Had no booze since posting earlier. Went into $800 as recomended. Made some nice plays and had some good cards but busted out in 20th (paid to 16th) with a str8 on flop. Was chip leader for ages. Cant be bothered to explain but allin on flop against a now bigger stack only to find he was chasing with pritty much his whole stack to hit a higher str8 on river. wtf?

Went into cash for a few sober hours and finally busted my last $30 against a $80 stack. I raised to $2 utg with A9 two callers. Flop A97 rainbow. Check to me I make it $2 he raises to $4, she calls, I make it $8, he makes it $10, she folds. I'm allin. He calls ($80 stack) and shows A7. Turn 7, river a rag and its good night from me, and its good night for him. You probably think I'm stupid for putting all my chips in when he could have had a set anyway. But, I'd been playing this dude for the last 2 hours and he was making big raises with pockets preflop everytime. And he calls a $2 raise with Jx every time. Althought it was possible he limped in with aces I was fairly sure I had him beat. Oh well.

Slags all of em. No more booze. No more money. So no poker. And wide awake at 3:30 am with buggerall to do. Bollacks! Days off from a night shift can get reeeeely boring! Myt go down to the river to see if I can catch a duck coz I'm quite hungry now aswell. Or Maybe I can find some street nutter to talk to about my terrible bad beats. If that fails I'm gonna sit outside the Church and pray for death (or money, not sure yet).

Get Buy With A Little Help

2007-03-14T01:28:00.000Z

Yea I get by with a little help from my friends. The Friday 13th bad luck streek continued untill I was down to $5.81. Was tellin my mate Romper all about it and how I had to make it back on the v. low stakes. So just for fun he came and joined me on 25c/50c on crypto. I was reaching the 3 litre mark which today means I have run out of Cyder! I think Romper has got a tiny little bit more respect for my drunken play now, not coz I rinced him or anything, but coz I turned $5.81 into $47 right b4 his eyes. Not sure how long it took but I did it, and he knows it wasnt coz I was gettin great cards. So thats given me a boost. Thanks Romper.

Its lucky my mate was there coz he said cash out now and play the $800 gtd. Utherwize I no doubtedly would have stayed and played until the lot was gone. So I've followed his good advice. Ate some food and have a nice cup of tea by my side ready for the $800. I really need to win this coz some very good friends of mine are having a party in London on Friday. I havent seen them since the summer and I need the £60 for the train fair.

The Monk Staggers On!

Decks of Destruction

2007-03-13T21:15:00.000Z

OMG! Tonight is going extremely badly. I think it must be because I finished work for the week this morning so that makes it Friday. Its also the 13th today. Uh oh!

Managed to get $20 into crytpo earlier which I busted on cash due to very poor table selection. Was trying to get my rake up so went to the highest avg. pot table. Got bummed with AA vrse 52. Cant explain that one coz my teeth will fall out through grinding, but its my fault for going to a crazy table.

Chilled out for a bit. Some mates couldnt make it round, so I put my last £20 back in looking for a long night of fun on the tables. I pride myself at being able to play cash games for 12 hours solid with only my $40 buyin (even tho I always end up loosing whatever massive stack I have accumulated). But after the last beat I thought I'd 2 table multi tourney to make it last a little longer. B4 they start I'm playin cash 25p/50p with £10. The very first hand I get totally dicked! Had 910s clubs 3players utg. I make it £1 sb folds bb calls. Flop 728 rainbow one diamond. He bets £2 I call. Turn 3d. He bets £2. I'm thinkin he's got A8 or A7. Deffinitely not a set coz a £2 bet aint gonna get most players too enthusiatic at these stakes. I call. River Jd. He pushes allin. I call. Da mo fo shows Qd2d for a flush to totally dick my str8. Wow! I spose that serves me ryt for playing so passively and out of position, but how did he think he was gonna win from the flop with bottom pair? Maybe its coz I only had £10 instead of the max buyin. Either way I got out played.

On to the tourneys...4k sat and a £2 multi both starting at 9pm. Dont have much experience multi tabling but I thought I'd give it a shot. Planing to play very loose in the 4k sat coz it was a thunder tourney. 5 minutes in and I've got 44 in the thunder and 55 in the £2 at the same time. I raise to half my stack in the thunder and raise to 300 in the £2. Flop in thunder 94K giving me a set. I'm in bb, folds to mid pos who goes allin. Folds to me, I call. Rest of it rags and he shows 99. Ouch,but still in the £2. Got called by one player, flop 757 giving me a boat. I check. He bets 800. I go allin, he calls. Turn 7 river a rag and he flips over JJ. Mutha of 'uck!!! I feel like a Kosovan porn star with two in the backdoor.

Oh well. Fell much better now for dropping this blog. Had to do something to calm down. My funds are now down to a measly $13 which I will attempt to rebuild on v. low stakes cash. Being Friday the 13th I'll probably bust the lot first hand.

Time to beat the Devil!

Seriously?

2007-03-11T08:29:00.000Z

No poker to be played for a bit. Mainly due to the fact that I'm totally broke. (Only myself to blame for that one). I've decided to start taking poker more seriously now and I may actually even knock the drinking on the head for a bit. (Never thought I'd say that! It wont last.)

Been reading some really good blogs recently. Mostly steming from a debate on hammerplayers blog about tournament vs cash game skill. Theres a lot to read but its very interesting and worth a look. I have taken some good strategy tips from blogs in the past which have helped me. I think this and some forums could be a route I need to follow to become a better student of poker.

Gotta wait for that paycheque before I can put anything into action, but I'm still not going to give up on the cash tables. I know I can beat the game as long as I cash out in time (when I'm drinking). Even when sober tho, I'd like to know when is the right time to cash out? When I've doubled, trebbled, or just passout. This is something I'm gonna have to work out if I'm really gonna make anything out of this.

btw, Hats off to the Harlem Maniac. You know who you are. Nice double up mate!!!

Bright Lights

2007-03-09T13:43:00.000Z

Has anyone played Holdem BlackJack? Man thats a stupid game. If u aint got 21 just dont even bother. Accidently enterd an stt lastnyt. Was good fun tho. Aint played much poker except a $3 multi. Butsed out with JJ vs 55 who rivered a 5.

Dont think I'll get the moring job in Tescos. Went there at 4am with a mate to buy some booze. He's from Bristol and we were having a friendly arguement. I said he was racist coz he thought some Cornish people were strange (which wasnt far wrong really). Anyway the manager noticed we were wasted and wouldnt serve us. I said fair enuff and started to leave but my mate kicked off! The police got called and I had to litteraly drag him out of there. We're nearly back at my place and I think we're in the clear then this cars comes flying under the bridge by the chicken shop, going the wrong way round a one way system. So me being community spirited decide to jump in the road to stop it. Turns out it was the cop car despatched to take us down. Then another one came round the other way so no chance of escape. Knowing we're buggered I go into yes cuntstubble polite mode, but my mate totally lost it. He said "What the fuck u pullin us up for?" Looked at me and said "I dont even know this man! Why the fuck are you following me Paul?" Well that blew it str8 away. lol. Apparently the manager didnt want to press charges. Shockingly, when asked if I had previous, I said no, my mate spent five minutes explaining, then this Copper said "What about the Cannabis in 1997?" I coudlnt believe it. This was back in my smoking days when I got a caution for having a spliff worth of dope. That was ten years ago! Theres no way that should still be in the files! Bunch of corrupt mutha fukkas!

Anyway I had to do some major blaggin coz my mate would not stop diggin. Kept insistin he didnt know me and he lived on the street. lol. Gotta give it to him for tryin. Luckily I talked our way out of it explaining that we were drunk after a birthday party and they let us go. Slags all of em!

Bottom Rock

2007-03-08T16:21:00.000Z

Blew that tenner on crypto playing cash. As always I was well up for a bit ($50) then rinced it with some dumb drunken moves. (when will I learn?) I know in the long run I'm much better playing tourneys but I think I've become obsessed with getting rakeback and cryto dont have any decent multis at 4am.

News Flash!

Just had some wicked advice from the man like Romper. I need to start planning my drunken day and working out exactly what tourneys I'm gonna do. Then do the same ones every day so I'll be up against the same players mostly. I know this does work coz I used to do it on the old BluSq site with the $8 multis. I knew the names of most of the players and how they played. Some of them feared me. Busted off the final table in one and went str8 into a $10 stt. One of those guys was there b4 it was full and he said " I'm not playin u again Shandy" and left! lol. I won that one as well. he he

Bottom line is, I havent made a weekly profit for quite a long time now. This is partly due to the 7.5% business. I need to get back on the Blackthorn coz I can drink that till the cows come home. Anyway decided to blow my weekly food budget of £10 on the new BluSq. Couldnt work out their tournament structure and went a bit cross-eyed (4am 4litre mark). So put it all into cash 10c/20c even tho these stakes only cause me brain trouble. Found a very tight table for a nice long game. Played for about 2 hours and was pritty much card dead for ages but had managed to double my stack (to $49) with a series of magnificent small bluff manouvers. By now tho I'm completely w*%kered and I think I am God. I'm in bb with rag rag and all fold down to late pos who makes a small raise. Folds down to me and I call. Flop Q84. I check. He bets $5. I call. Turn K. So naturally I'm allin. He just has me covered and shockingly calls to show QJ. River an unhelpfull rag and I'm out for the night.

Lesson to learn: Never Ever Do An Allin Bluff When U Got Jack Shit!!!

So its dry pasta on toast for the next week. I've applied for a partime day job. Just a few hours in the morning. Hopefully this will keep my drinking in check a little, which will definately improve my poker. Plus I'll have more money to blow.

Oh well. Skint and hugry. But if anyone says I've hit rock bottom. Dont worry I can go a lot lower than this!!!

Put it in Cider!

Memory Loss

2007-03-07T20:21:00.000Z

Went back to the Offee last night to put myself past the 5 litre mark.
Seriously cant remember a sinlge hand I played after that but I must have been seriously lacking in diciplin coz I busted the lot. Fortunatlely I had the insight to cash out $50 in cheque form so I couldnt touch it. Lost £10 on the new BlusSq site too. I can remember I was well up at one piont but that was before the 5 litre mark. Oh well.

Dont reallly like the new Blu site. Preffered the old one but at least there's more players now. Maybe I'm just stuck in my ways. Only got a tenner to play with tonight so lady luck had better be on my side. We shall see.

Reload

2007-03-06T18:04:00.000Z

Its time to reload! Made my bonus in the second session so now I'm thinkin crank it up a bit.

Tried to put money into neteller 4 crypto but my card was declined. Must be devine intervention coz my rakeback came through 2day.
Hit the 3litre mark and passed out in front of the screen. Had a dream about a salad bagel???Logged back in to find that I got my reload bonus and was up $100. Wow! How did that happen?
(Playing 50c/$1 like a psycho). They really are tyt on crypto.

Totally wasted ryt now but goin to the offee for some more, then its back to the tables for some drunken poker!

Biggup

Back In The Saddle

2007-03-06T06:46:00.000Z

Just finished a punishing 3 nights shift and I'm gratefull to my job for making me even more determined to crack the enigma of drunken poker. Unforunately I dont have much funds this week so I could get knocked off this bronko with a bump.

Worked out, at the point of last post I was breakin even, but very drunk. Went back to 50c/$1 with $50 and lost the lot on my first hand. I was in late pos. with 65o and flat called $1 after nealry everyone limped in. Flop 65J rainbow. Now I'm thinkin my luck is in after the last $75 pot. bb makes it $5, fold down to me. bb is the big stack with $290 odd. I raise to $10. He calls. Turn 10. bb makes it $8. Now I'm thinkin bb special on a str8 draw? I make it $20. He calls. River 10. He puts me all in ( to see if I'm dickin with him I think). I call, he shows 2 pair as well but its J5. Ouch. First hand as well.
Now I'm wonderin. I know I shouldn't have even been in with that hand, I was drunk as always, but, should I have folded and assumed he had a set from the off? Or did his low raise and then tecknically allin move represent weekness? Either way I still lost 50 bucks and thats drunken poker.

Got one thing out of last weeks mashup and that was 50% of my reload bonus in one 4 hour session. Cant be a bad thing even tho I bussed it, was $70 up at one point.
Need to start getting my money in early b4 I'm too wasted, then pulling out wen I've dubbed up. (that'll be the day!)

The cider is flowing nicely atm ( btw,Zid atm means "at the moment" not "ass to mouth" u slag!) and BluSqs new site is up this arvo. Lookin 4ward finally to some decent multi table play on Blu. That ding ding thing used to do my drunken head in. Unfortunately BluSq no longer allow US players and I am gutted. My main source of income was playin Zidandaman heads up. Where did u get that name from bro? Bananaman would have been better de amount of times u slip up! :-) Looks like Full Tilt is on the cards now if they ever let me log in.

Ramblin like a drunken mad man...time for some crypto action.

Ruspec!

Totally Wasted

2007-03-03T06:03:00.000Z

My local Gateway has started sellin Ice Dragon (7.5%) which I love. So even tho I was gonna try stick to the Blackthorn, it had to be done. RTR is doin 40% rakeback on crypto now so I put 50 bucks in there for a sign up bonus as well. Was playin for like 4 hours on 15c/25c cash and still had my original $25. Then I got a severe bad beat with AA vs 99 which cleaned me out. Went on tilt with my remaining $25 and lost the lot very quickly. By now I'm reaching the 3 litre mark as well.

Not to be out done I went to BlueSq to use wot I had dair. But decided to up it a level to 50c/$1. I quickly made $20 into $80 but got 2 really bad beats in a row and went on major drunken tilt. I was raisin pre flop to $5 with bugger all and eventually got caught out. When I did tho, some slag says "finish him" just as I go out. I cant take that sort of shit when I'm drunk so I stuck another $40 in and went back to the same table. This slag is sitting on 90 odd dollars and 1st hand I'm raisin with J9s. He calls my $5 and flop goes J42. I raise to $3 and he makes it $10. I call. Turn 7. I bet $4 he makes it $10 again. I call. River 3. I check, thinking I am absolutely buggered on my first hand back. This slag goes allin. Me being wasted cant refuse a battle like that against a slag I hate, so I call. He shows A3 and I double up! And I tell him "Up Yours!" I'm now stack leader and its not long b4 he busts out with absolutely nothing. Justice.

After that I took down a $75 pot with 67o. Took a chance on calling a $1.50 pre flop raise and caught 2 pair on da flop. Dis mo fo went allin with AQ on a 367 flop! Ended up on $137. Think I'm well up for the day now but not sure coz I'm well passed the 3lire mark. At least I've maintained my dignity anyway. F*%'k those slags who cuss my drunken moves!

Put It In Cider!!!

Ooops I Lost It Again!

2007-03-02T17:55:00.000Z

Following in the footsteps of the DrunkenMonk lookalike who is Britney Spears, I have totally lost the plot! Thought I'd quickly do a post before I go to work about how well Friday night went. It is Friday night now you muppet! You dont have to work untill tomorow you twat! Made my packed lunch, had a bath and eveything. Then it dawned on me. Richard and Judy is not on on a Saturday. Wahoo! Thats made my day!

As for the poker. Only played about 4 hours yesterday. Didnt get up till 10pm and played till about 3am. Came 3rd in a $10 4table job on BluSq. Cashed in a $10 stt. And went up and down as ever on a cash game. Finished the night about $45 up. Roughly the same as what I'd earn slogging my guts out in the factrory for the same amount of time.

I think mostly my small succes is down to the fact that I stopped playing at the 2 litre mark. Mainly due to the fact that I couldnt be bothered to walk to Tesco at 3am. Also I've been drinkind Dry Blackthorn which is only 5%. Must admit I do tend to lose it when I'm on the 8.4% stuff. Anyway its time to celebrate Friday night all over again Yes Yes!!!

btw raketherake is doing 40% rakeback with Interpoker for March. Time to start hitting those crypto cash games. Fraid they still dont take US customers tho. Sorry Zid.

Gutted

2007-03-01T20:12:00.000Z

Started off fairly slowly last night. Made final table in a $2 mtt but crashed out after 2 and a half hours in 9th place with AQ vs AA for a measly $4 profit. Then I did a $5 27 seater on Stars. That one took ages too coz of the blind structure. Which I dont mind but I got knocked out on the bubble, only 5 places paid. By now I realise I am totally wasting my time at these levels. Plus I'm reaching the 3litre point, which is usually where my skill goes down hill.

So I'm in a cash game 25c/50c with $40. This dude sitting to my left keeps raising up pre flop with nothing and I make it my mission to take him out. After a while I get aces and limp in. He makes his standard raise to $1.50 and I make it $3. He makes it $6, I make it $10 and he calls. Flop 46Q two diamonds. I'm allin. He has me covered. He calls and shows 46o. Mutha F*%#@!
Strangely after this move I completely forget how to play cards. Did some multi table rampage which put me down about $75 for the night. Ouch! I'm so gutted about my lack of comeback skills that I might not even play at all tonight. We'll see.

On a lighter note. Got my water bill today. Amazingly it was only £30 (I was expecting £130 at least). I'm on a water meter so obviously my strategy of never flushing the bog, doing the washing up, or taking a bath, has paid off. lol. In a way that cancels out my losses so I have an excuse to play now (not that I need one). Goin for a few beers 1st tho. Tis Friday eh!
Put It In Cider!!!

I Am Hard!

2007-02-28T06:02:00.000Z

Finally finished work for the week. Comlpeted a 12 hour shift yesterday morning and went against my only golden rule which is dont play poker when you're tired. Went st8 into a poker sesh that lasted for 16 hours. Only stopping twice to go and buy more booze and fags. During this time I managed to down 6 and a half litres of strong cider.

Didnt really lose much coz I never had much anyway so its amazing I lasted that long really. Found out PokerStars take $10 min deposit now so I was able to rince out my neteller acc. who are serious slags for not giving me my money back (still cheaper than a credit card). They cant even test with paypal tho. Its a shame only Betfair uses them.
So I entered an $8 rebuy. I dont usually do rebuys but my mate Romper was playin so I fort it'd be a laugh. My strategy in these tourneys is to play really tight and never ever rebuy or addon. I made it threw the addon period on an 11k stack which I felt quite comfortable with. It was roughly de same as Rompers as it goes (very good player). Now I'm cruisin along nicely dominating small stacks. Up and down but with steady progression. Then this happened: Cant remember the blinds (was goin past the 3 litre mark) I raise a fair bit, 2500 ish with 1010 and get called by a big stack. Flop 872 I bet 3k. He goes allin for all bar 1k of my stack. Obviously this puts him on an over pair or a set. As I've gone past the 3 ltre mark my psychic abilities are starting to kick in and I realize he doesnt have me beat by any means whatsoever. I call and he flips over 99. Wow! Turn 8, River.......9. Buggerin F#'%K!!! Serves me right for such a stupid call I spose, but if u dont gamble u wont win. I battle for a bit and bust out in some stupid place like 297.

Took my tilt out on some serious micro stakes (not much cash left at all now). I think it was 2c/4c. Never realized how much fun these stakes can be (maybe God is giving me a pointer here). When the biggest stack only has $2 you can play like a total psycho. Made some serious Gus Hansen moves and cleared about $8 gettin called by twats who didnt know K3 is a crap hand, especially when theres an ace on the board. lol

Back to BlueSQ for a bit. They were upgrading in the morning but I cant see the difference. I know VC has moved to Playtech now tho.
To be honest I cant actually remember what happened as I cruised through the 5 litre mark. Bit of a mish mash but I'm only playing with my winnings dat I got after my mate Zid lent me $6 hu. lol. Made about $20. Cheers for dat mate!

The drunken state of enlightenment is achieved as I go through the 6 litre barrier (I shit you not). Must have drunk myself sober coz I can remember all of this give or take an hour or 2. I'm actually playing really well until BluSq decides to give me a hepling hand. In a $5 multi and I'm nearly chip leader through some superior card skill and a bit of luck. Then my chair litterally caught on fire! The next ten hands I'm delt an ace every time with no less than a J kicker. Except KK once. Had AA twice! I did not win one single hand even tho I was playing them very aggressively, put loads of people allin for a bad beat every time. The golden goose must have caught bird flu or sumfin coz I've busted down to 1k. Sensing the site irony I go allin preflop with 87o and manage to crack aces with 2pair. My brain starts melting and I crash out on the next hand with Jack sht for no money.Oh well.

Its 6:50am now and I'm really glad I've still got half a litre of cider left. The first pint is going down well. Propper Drunken Poker starts at midnight when I get paid. For now its time to pick up some bargains on ebay. Seriously, nobody bids at this time of day. Got a stack of old skool games the other day for like 50p each!

------------------------------Put it in Cider!----------------------------------

Bonus Buster

2007-02-25T18:41:00.000Z

Got last weeks wage slip yesterday. Last week I had my yearly work bonus. Unfortunately it coincided with a day of the year when I'm usually very drunk (bonus day), and I blew the lot on da tables. Frighteningly it turns out it was double what I thought it was. Oh well easy come easy go. So to make myself feel better I looked up my rackback tracker. So far this month I've spent a wapping $191 on rake, just on crypto. Thats a rackback of nearly $62. Yes Yes. Got my mate timbo to thank for that one. Cheers mate. Hope you're enjoyin your 4%! lol

Anyway gotta work tonight so just quickly frapped out a $5 stt. Best hand: blinds 30/60. Call utg with 109o. 3 callers plus blinds. Flop 8c6d7s. I check, one bets 60, next man calls, next man is allin. Is he trying to test the water to see if I'm on a flush draw? I call but have them covered, one other caller allin. He shows JJ, next man shows aces. Turn Q, River 8. I take it down! Came 2nd in that for a nice 9buck start to the day.(bottle of cider at least).

I think I'm gonna put a lot more time into stts. I always used to earn quite well of em. Won a couple of $25 jobbies before now. With the amount I've rinced on cash the last few weeks I might as well start smackin the $50 stts. Bring it oan!!!

Rump Stakes

2007-02-23T20:11:00.000Z

After a morning busking outside Gateways, I managed to squeeze another £5 from the cider fund, into my BlueSq acc. Not bothered with tourneys atm Iplayed $0.10/$0.20 for a while. In early position, fairly tight table with AQo so I limp. Folds to cutoff who makes it $1, folds to me, I call. Flop 6Q4 rainbow. I'm a sucker for slow playin so I check. He makes it $3, I call. Turn is a rag, I bet $3 not sure if he's made a set or not. He goes allin. Im pot committed and call and he flips over Q5o. River is a rag and I double up. Nice. Man I love these stakes.

This type of play goes on for a while and eventually I'm on $40. Thats 400% up. Not bad in my book. So I give it a break for a bit and do the $1000 freeroll. Blown out fairly quickly on an ace crack. My aces vs 76o who caught a str8. All the action points in the world aint gonna stop the allin preflop brigade. Wankers!
So its back to the cash. I decide to go back to the table I was on with my whole stack coz it was full of mugs. Now tho theres another dude who has stack same as me. And, on the very first hand hes raising to $3 utg. I'm thinking this is way too big a raise for AAs or Kings or even Queens. Wot is he hoping for here? I put him on 10s or JJs. I've got AKs anyway so I call. All round fold. Flop is A57 rainbow. He bets $3 again. I'm worried hes drawin a set and push allin. He calls str8 away and shows QQ. Turn Q. River 7. Ouch. Thats my whole stack cleaned out. Man I hate these stakes. lol

Just in case anyone does actually read this blog. Heres a little tekky tip. Theres a new spyware virus that can infect you're computer just by visiting a site, without clicking anything. Its particularly dangerous for poker players who use sites with inter acc. tranfers because it retrieves personal info like passwords or bankdetails, like most other programmes of this type. There is an easy solution to this. Just make sure you have changed the password in your router. These are normally set to default "password" which is how the virus gets in. Tiscali sagem customers should already have theres set to their loggin password so dont worry. But I know btopenworld and some others are not so checkit out.

Keep it locked & Stay safe!

7 Day Forecast

2007-02-22T16:00:00.000Z

Its looking a little gloomy on the poker front over the next few days. Theres a rent check slowly moving in over parts of Cornwall and the sky will be dark for some time.
Jesus Christ what was I thinking yesterday. I could have cleened up if it werent for them stupid moves. Looks like the Myth is not too mysterious at this point but we shall see. Tried to climb back from nothing on a 50c stt, but with out a couple of beers it was just insanely boring so I gave up. Bustable bankroll is now zero. Havent checked my bank balance yet but I dont think there'll be any suprises.
Need to find something else to do until I get my next wages. Might have to re-play GTA San Andreous. Should kill a few days. Tesco are selling the first series of The Office for £12.95 which is good value. And a real bargain is the first series of Extras for £4.95 which is also funny. Goodfellas, which I still havent got yet is going for £9.99. Just hope I've got enough money to buy the buggers. Need a free-view box as well. Gonna have to sell something. Never liked next doors cat much. Might drag it over to the Kebab shop and see what I can get for it. Bit o'chillie source. Luvly.

2007-02-22T07:21:00.000Z

There was one hand I forgot to mention. I did promise myself I would post these to try and stop tilt and stupidity.
I'm on a really tight cash table $0.10/$0.20 with $28 and havent seen any action for at least an hour. On top of that every time I get a hand everyone folds. So I make it my drunken mission to raise up and take down the next pot no matter what my cards or who is in it. This I now know. Was a mistake. Next hand is 34o utg I raise to $3. Everyone folds except dis dude who only just has me covered. Flop comes 598 rainbow. I'm now sure my mission will succeed so I push allin. Dis dude calls me and flips over K10. None of us hit and he takes it down K high. He said wtf and I'm thinkin, you took the words right out of my mouth mate. For the last hour he's been playin tighter than a Nuns candle hole and he calls wiv dat! Might have to try a sober come back today, run out of booze already.

Ups and Down

2007-02-22T06:00:00.000Z

Hmm intesting evening. Didnt want to gamble too much after lastnights atrocities so just put £25 in BlueSquare. Started with a $5 mtt. Drawin well dead,stack 2300 blinds now 200/400 on the cutoff with 88. Dairs 3 limpers so I push. Everyone folds ba one who only just has me covered. He flips over K9o and spikes a K . Ouch.
Went back to where I am strong at the moment.(lol the lowest stakes) Cash $0.10/$0.20. With $10. I'm up and down for like 2hours and really wished I was playing on Crypto for rakeback, then I'm on $9.50 and pick up rockets UTG. I limp in and get raised to $1, next man raises to $3. Blinds fold and I'm allin. They both call and flip over JJ and QQ. My aces held for a $28 pot. Yes Yes.
Made a very bad decision after that. I'm in bb with A4, 2 callers. Flop comes 448. I check. utg raises to $3, button calls, I flat call. Turn 7. I check, utg checks, button makes it $6, I call, utg flat calls. River 5. Thinking I've shot myself in da foot I bet $3. utg goes allin and has me covered. Button folds. I stand to lose $10 and think his check and da flat call on da turn put him on a draw. Dont ask me why. I'm sure he's got a 6 and I cant believe it I fold. I asked him. U have the 6? He said no A4. Wot a dumb move by me. Or was it?
Lost quite a bit after that on some various drunken moves, but no memorable ones. Then I've got 10 minutes to kill while I'm waiting for the $1500 GTD $8mtt. So I sit down on my own $0.10/$20 again to do some hu. Rinced a few dollars off sum dude then dis guy sits down wiv $10. I get QQ utg and limp in. Next man makes it $1 I think, and the new guy makes it $3.25. I'm quite drunk by now and I'm pritty sure theres no way they could have KK or AA so I move allin. Next man folds, new guy calls allin, and flips over K2o. wtf? Luckilly my ladies are true and I take down a $23 pot.
Made some serious losses after that but with no real bad beats so I've only got myself to blame. Did a $5 STT with my mate Zid. Hes a solid player but not when he's drunk. (Unlike me). Got knocked out 1st which was embarassing. But Zid went next. He asked me to do a cash game with him. I said ok u go, I'll follow. Seriously mate, hold it down on those cash games. By the time I got there (45 seconds flat) he had already rinced his stack. HA HA HA. I wouldnt laugh mate but I know its you leavin evil comments on my blog. lol
Anyway somehow I've only got $15 left. Just enough for the $1500 gtd $12mtt at 5:30am. So I went with dat one. Played really aggressively (or badly) up and down like a yo yo until finally I'm down to a crapshoot and think 44 is a good bet. Not to be. Did I really say these were easy money? Oh well, time for some Vindaloo.

The Story So Far

2007-02-21T21:33:00.000Z

Ok. Welcome to my blog.

I've been playing poker online now for nearly 8 months and in that time my game has come on a long way. I have a job that I hate, but only work 3 nights a week so this gives me the rest of the week to get drunk and play poker. I'm basically trying to win enough money at the table so I can quit my deadend, lifesucking, sole destroying job.
Before you say it. Yes, I know, playing poker and drinking is the equivalent to drinking and driving. Unfortunaltely alcohol is a medical requirement for my system. Thats just the way it is. Saying that, I am a really solid player at the tables when I miss the offee, but it takes me ages to settle down and I go mental when I get bad beats. Have to stop playing for hours.
Anyway, I have had some success while playing under the infuence. Made the final table 5times in a row playing the 180seat $20 on Stars. Could have won the last one. Was chip leader by far,had at least 40% of chips on table but by then I was so drunk I thought my JJ was good for a re-reraise pre flop againgst de one guy who could do me damage on da table. Allin shows JJ vs AA with no spike for me. Dat pritty much knocked me out. Crapshoot after dat.

Other sites. On Blusquare I'm fairly good with the $8 mtts. Often make the final table on dat one for some easy money. My trouble is, I den go and blow it all on a cash game. Need to tighten right up in that area. I can start with $25 on $0.15/$0.25 play for hours and turn it into $100. I was $200 up on crypto the other day. By then I was well wasted so I stepped it up a couple notches. $1/$2 I think, and blew my whole stack on one hand. Wot an idiot eh!!!
Well I've had some time to think about that now, plus the 90 bucks I blew lastnyt on cash (started with $60 mind) and I've drawn up a list of the only hands I'm allowed to play once I pass the 3ltr (of cider) mark. These are: AA KK and AKs. Hopefully this will stand me in good stead. Althought it would be better if I could just switch off de pc at dis point.

To some it all up. The main aim of this blog (apart from the above) is to stop me going on drunken brain twisting full tilt, that I often do. As long as I know there could be a couple of people reading this and gettin ready to cuss down my stupid drunken moves at de tables, I should be able to keep tilt under wraps.
Anyway, I've been freerolin all day and I've just got paid now so I'm off to da offee and den back for a good 12 hour session on da tables.

Enlightenment and Peace. Da West is Da Best!!! AIII